Something of a Convenience
by mellomarie
Summary: Sasuke prided himself in being intelligent, so when the idea of marrying Sakura came to him--she was finally tolerable without the fantastical expectations--it seemed perfect. Except he underestimated Sakura's intelligence in the process. -SasuSaku
1. prologue

**Something of a Convenience **

**prologue**

Sakura prides herself in growing up. Being taller, stronger, faster, older--and everything emotional old age entails, being mature, being wise, being self-sufficient, independent…nothing, absolutely _nothing_ like the old Sakura. The Sakura who was fickle, dependent and too star-struck—to infatuated to worry about being kunoichi…to worry about saving others, especially when she couldn't protect herself. And it took a long while for Sakura to get this point, this point of self-relisation, this point of taking a hard, hard look at her past and seeing _clearly_, what with Sasuke's face not being there to obscure her.

Because that's what she felt he was, an obstruction. An obstacle. A friend of course…but hardly one for her. She wanted to save him, but she didn't have faith in his heart that he'd ever be a good friend for her. She knew the distinction now too…what a good friend was. She was a close friend to Naruto, a better friend to Ino, a something of a friend to Kakashi-sensei. She was a friend, a healer, and person to look up too. Sakura had grown up.

She just wasn't expecting that everything would crumble when he came back again.

* * *

While Sakura had grown up, she was still selfish...and she couldn't pretend that the fire of jealousy didn't exist when she saw Sasuke come through the door, battered and beaten but none of her punches causing the wounds. She knew Naruto probably felt the same way too, but he was probably killing that fire, his happiness of seeing his friend (his brother…it takes repeating because Sakura knows she's not in the same boat as Naruto) probably quelled. Not Sakura. Not her. Seeing him again did nothing for her if she wasn't part of the mission, part of the bruises, the kicks, the yells, the screams…it meant nothing. Sakura had played the attentive waiter before and she was tired of it, tired of a role that she always seemed to slip in. Because she didn't expect anything from Sasuke, she was prepared to show him how strong she is, rather than for him to come to the relisation himself…if he ever could. She was prepared to punch a hole in his face if it showed to him that she wasn't quite as ready to throw everything away.

And when the commotion ceased, when it was simply Naruto and her, with Sasuke before them in a hospital bed, the reality of the situation slapped them hard. Naruto mostly, he was upset that things weren't like the way it used to be, he was expecting a familiar 'dobe' and Sakura's fawning and his own bubbly rantings. He was expecting familiarity, while dysfunctional, but still wholly them. Instead fractures of a once-family were left, and it was hard realising it, it was hard living through it.

Sakura had faith in herself and in Naruto…she had faith that this team would be better. It would get fixed. They'd be a family again. She initially didn't expect anything from Sasuke, she didn't expect him to try, for himself or his brother or even her…but that growing not-so-immature girl with hearts in her eyes wasn't quite as dead as she thought.

"Welcome back, Sasuke-kun."

Perhaps Sakura had faith in Sasuke as well.

* * *

Sakura was pleased. She hadn't felt wholly pleased in a long time, especially after a mission, but things worked out well for once. It wasn't a difficult task, retrieving an artifact hardly was, but it wasn't wise to go with high expectation or with too much self-assuredness. Thankfully, the optimist in her had its fill of the day, and not only was the mission a success; they had also gotten nice, comfy hotel rooms before their long trek back home the next day. Sakura stretched on the mattress, grinning. Sasuke was bearable too. She didn't want to cry, scream or punch him for once. She never went through with her urges—at least not the violent ones, but she always had the need when he said something far too reminiscent of broken times, or if he surpassed his sulking quota for the day.

But he was tolerable throughout their mission, at one point he was even pleasant. She didn't want to have high expectations, she didn't want to celebrate too fast…but she couldn't help but smile. It was a hope, a flickering one at best, but a hope. It was hard not to revel in it.

Sakura was taken out mid-reveling when the front door of her hotel room creaked open, revealing Sasuke, still in his mission clothes and still very much unclean…for Sasuke anyway. She didn't put his after-mission look at the same standard of herself, his hair amazingly was still splayed to perfection; his face was still very much smooth, unmarked and clean. Sakura sighed. She wondered if the grime in her hair was too distracting. He seemed to be staring an awful lot.

"Sasuke-kun?"

He stared at her still, his eyes calculating, and Sakura began feeling self-conscious. Did she look that bad? Although she prided in her growing up…she still had a rotten self-esteem, dropping thousands of meters when Uchiha Sasuke was in the premises. A space was still between them, in everything really. It seemed there was no exception in the looks department as well.

She opened her mouth to question him before he bluntly interrupted her, saying something she was hardly ready to comprehend, ready to reply to, or even remotely expecting:

"I want you to marry me Sakura."

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, so I think a bit of explanation is in order. The other prologue I posted was for a prompt I gotten from a friend, but I was really upset with it, thus I rewrote the plot and here be the revised version. It's a bit more well thought out methinks, but anyway Hinata is hardly in the equation this time around, as evident from the prologue lol. Also, I have a lot of flaws with Sakura this time around, she's pretty much in denial though which is more fun I guess :D As for updates, I'll try to update this alongside the glass house, but we'll see. I'm back at school and busier than ever, le sigh. Please review, I'd love to hear what you guys thought of it!


	2. chapter one

**Something of a Convenience **

**chapter one **

* * *

She had grown up. She wasn't the same little girl with ridiculously high expectations, her heart whole and full, carefree…a blank canvas. She wasn't that little girl anymore. _I'm not that little girl anymore. I'm not. _But Sakura still felt her head swim; her chest beat erratically, her mind asking why a thousand times over and another part of her watching all of those expectations, hopes, and wishes shattering into little pieces. Those expectations she thought she buried, that she made peace with and got rid of were still there, desperately holding onto the cracks of that little girl.

And two different conflicting emotions battled within her. One was smiling, gleeful, happy. Another part was crying. Because this wouldn't be a marriage of love or happiness, it would be a means to a gain. Everything with Sasuke always was.

All the while, Sasuke was watching her apprehensively until his voice, detached asked, "Are you crying?"

Sakura was taken aback, the chill realisation of tears drying on her skin washed through her. She wiped them frantically with the back of her hands, answering that she was fine and hardly crying. Well, she was. She could scarcely understand why. None of this made any sense. None of it.

"I'm fine," She muttered again, more for herself this time than anything else. She was fine. Maybe confused. A bit angry? And she was crying, whatever that meant she wasn't quite sure. Okay, maybe she wasn't fine at all. And the desperate urge to punch him resonated within her sharply what with his impassive face and nonchalant words.

"You don't look fine."

"Yeah well, I suppose my reaction isn't all that sane. Maybe I should spring up on you one day and ask you if you want to be married? Let's see how you react then," Sakura snapped, her anger clouding her judgment. She wished he didn't get to her.

He smirked softly, "If you recall, you did something of a similar nature when I was leaving Konoha."

Sakura hitched in a breath, her cheeks colouring, "That…that hardly counts. I was twelve."

"So was I."

Sakura scowled, looking for a change of subject, "You…you just proposed to me. I think that warrants more attention than my actions as a twelve year old."

Sasuke shrugged, "I was just answering your question"

"Thanks for the answer," Sakura muttered, grabbing the pillow beside her and hugging it fiercely. She felt her eyes sting once more, frustration causing her to squeeze the frail material around her pillow more tightly. He was…unbelievable. And now he was staring at her again after blabbering out a proposal that was ill-thought out. Or maybe not. It was blunt, calculated and to the point. It was the sort of thing he would say, now that she thought of about it.

"So?"

Sakura lifted her chin from the pillow, staring at him, "So what?"

Sasuke folded his arms, "I asked you to marry me. What's your answer?"

"My answer?" Sakura repeated quietly, shocked, "I…I…don't understand why you are asking me to begin with."

"It's not that confusing. I need to restore my clan; I think I told you as much when we were younger."

Sakura's cheeks reddened, despite anger bubbling within her, "So? You mentioned it at passing when we were twelve. Forgive me if I didn't think it was some sort of prelude to…_to this_."

Sasuke smirked, "You mentioned your feelings around that time too, so how are they different once again?"

Sakura widened her eyes. He wasn't serious, "You're kidding right? As….as embarrassing as it is to talk about that time to you, it's still very much different than when we had our first meeting as a team, talking about our goals and you mentioned clan restoration….without mentioning anybody's name. _At twelve years old_"

"So just because I didn't take you aside and said it to your face, it makes it less legit?" Sasuke asked, an eyebrow raised.

Sakura shook her head, "You aren't serious. That's the most…you're unbelievable. I told you I loved you. You said you wanted to make babies in the distant future without naming anybody to help you with that….that _task_. The fact that you are comparing them is crazy."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "Fine. I'm asking you now, so what's your answer?"

"But why…why _now_?"

"I told you why."

Sakura snorted, "To restore your clan. That much is obvious. But why come to my room now and ask me? There has to be a reason. I'm not…I'm not the same girl anymore. You can't just ask me something like that and expect full support."

"Because…because I plan to go back and kill my brother. Soon. This is my only chance while we're out of Konoha."

Sakura gaped at him, shell-shocked, "What? I thought…I thought all of that was over."

Sasuke's eyes turn cold, and spat, "You don't just forget the murderer of your family. I tried to stop thinking about it and move on but it's impossible. He needs to be killed. I will ensure it."

"And you want me to have your child while you go off playing avenger again," Sakura murmured hollowly.

Sasuke nodded, "I didn't learn enough from Orochimaru. I don't know if I'll survive the battle with Itachi. My growth…has been stilled. I'll kill him, that much is sure, but I don't think I'm strong enough to survive it. At least if I do die, I'll know my blood lived on."

"A suicide mission," Sakura muttered, "You plan to leave me with your kid and go off not returning. You…you're crazy."

"Maybe I am," Sasuke replied, "But I'm not crazy enough to think I'll live too."

"But crazy enough to think I'll agree to this?" Sakura asked flatly.

"How is it crazy that I ask the girl that claimed to love me to marry me? I don't plan to impregnate you and leave. I'm going about this honourably. You'll be married; you'll have my name and my estate. My child will live a privileged life because I believe you capable of that."

He had said the words without any emotion, empty. This marriage was a means to an end, and the same surprising tears began to spill from her eyes. Maybe the tears weren't all that surprising. Maybe that little girl wasn't dead.

"But you plan to die." Sakura said, her voice wobbling, "You don't plan to come back."

"I never said such a thing," Sasuke reminded her, his eyes intent, "I said I wouldn't take any chances. If I do live, I plan to stay married to you and help raise my child."

Sakura chuckled humourlessly, "You seem so sure…this child will be a reality? Biology may not be on your side."

Sasuke shrugged, "At least I took the chance, didn't I? No regrets."

Sakura nodded, her lip quivering, "But you're so sure…that I'll say yes too."

"I acknowledge that you may not be as….eager to agree, but I do think you'll help me. I know you well enough that you'll do anything to help anybody…and I know I'm not just 'anybody'."

Sakura smiled. Sasuke wasn't stupid at all. He really was a genius, and he knew her well.

"I can't, Sasuke-kun," Sakura replied, her voice thick with tears.

"Can't…or won't?" Sasuke deadpanned, his eyes intently trained on her face, "Two very different answers."

Sakura bit her lip, "I won't."

And then Sakura bolted out of her hotel room.

* * *

She was feeling a myriad of things, locked up in the public washroom down in the main floor of the hotel. She felt highly insulted. He had asked her to have her kid and marry him…for convenience. Her feelings in the matter meant nothing at all, the fact that he expected her to say yes said as much. She also felt confused. She didn't understand why he'd go back and kill his brother. She knew he wasn't particularly happy being brought back, going through probation and proving himself. But why put in all that work and irrevocably ruin it by breaking their trust once again by going back to kill his brother? The consequences of his actions then would be uncertain but Sakura knew it would hardly be as lenient as it was during his initial return.

She wished she hadn't bolted out of the room without seeing his reaction. Surely she had surprised him with her answer. He had been so confident. And he was right, to a point. She would've said yes. If it meant that much to him, she would've helped. If she still had been that girl. She wasn't though. She wouldn't gladly sit back and wait for him, again. She had enough of that life. He probably wouldn't have shown his reaction at all in his face. Sasuke was an expert at masking his feelings. Only little glimpses here and there and the entire process was extremely complex. He may say or do something different, but the meaning ambiguous and completely unrelated. So his reaction…his reaction meant nothing at all. It wasn't like he wasn't going to be honest with himself, let alone her.

For once, Sakura didn't know what to do. She always had a plan, she always had an idea. Now, she was completely lost. She was taken off guard and left with no devices. He had humiliated her; he had insulted her, and in the same vein, complimented her too. He thought her fit for a wife. He trusted her enough to raise his child. She couldn't help but blush a little at remembering his words. His opinion, regardless of what she told herself, meant a lot. She couldn't possibly tell Naruto. He wasn't exactly helpful in the emotional department. He'd probably start raging, face red and vow to castrate Sasuke.

Sakura sighed, wishing for Ino. Ino would have given her some sort of advice or at least been a glad receiver of the angry ranting she wanted to do. Sakura remembered their last conversation; Ino had been annoyed with Shikamaru, after coming back from their mission. He was disgustingly overprotective—a nuisance in one word. She felt insulted, and had asked for an explanation when it had gotten out of control. Shikamaru had been deliberately vague and brief, his replies no indication to his feelings. Ino wasn't emotionally stupid; she'd peg it with romantic feelings if it weren't for Shikamaru's detest for roundabout and game-like charades when it came to matters of the heart. Sakura remembered herself smiling, telling Ino plainly that Shikamaru clearly did like her, regardless of what he'd normally do. Ino was still angry though, telling Sakura more about Shikamaru's stupid actions, of how he nearly killed himself. He was making her sick with worry for absolutely nothing. Sakura smiled again and said Ino clearly loved him too.

Sakura had done the same thing hadn't she? She had jumped in front of Gaara, protecting Sasuke as stupid as the action was. She wasn't rational at all; she had put her life on the line even though it made not an ounce of sense. She couldn't bear to see him dead…she'd sooner let herself be killed than live a life without him.

And Sakura knew, deep in her heart, her feelings on that matter hadn't changed a bit.

She still wanted him help him. She still wanted him to live. He asked her to bear him a child, to marry her honourably, to sit and wait and raise his child and…it was the only way wasn't it? Sure, it wasn't the help she was expecting to give, it wasn't the help she wanted to give...but without her being married to him, he had nothing to come back to. It was the only way to ensure that there was some hope. That he wanted to stay alive. That he wouldn't take such stupid risks. That he would come back and raise his child and be there...maybe not for her but for himself. _For his goals_. And if she could only keep him alive with being the reminder, by waiting...then was it dumb for her to say no? Was the pain of knowing that she wasn't all that helpful after all worth it?

Or maybe…maybe she didn't have to wait at all. Maybe both she and Sasuke could get what they wanted.

* * *

Sakura opened up the door to her room, expecting Sasuke to be there. She hadn't been gone long, and knowing Sasuke and his egotistical confidence, he probably was going to wait out instead of believing that he had been refused. Sakura scowled to herself. Was she really that predictable? Surprisingly, he wasn't there, and her room was empty, her bed messed, and the pillow she had been crying on sprawled on the ground. Sakura sighed, walking towards the pillow and picking it up, still feeling the dampness of her tears still left on the material. She placed it back on her bed and then with a whoosh, she felt Sasuke beside her, his breath against her neck and she lets out a hiss of shock.

Sasuke frowned at her, "You shouldn't be taken off guard."

Sakura sighed, "I was…preoccupied."

He eyed her critically, his lips a hard line, "So you agree then."

Sakura tried to hide her annoyance. It was truly unnerving that he knew he was always right. The arrogance, the unbendable confidence. A part of her just wanted to say no once again just to see the reaction she still regretted she missed.

"Under conditions, of course," Sakura replied, and Sasuke raised a delicate eyebrow. Clearly he was interested, or maybe even surprised. It was always hard to tell with Sasuke.

Little to Sakura's knowledge, Sasuke _was _surprised. Twice in fact. She had said no at first, something Sasuke was not expecting. But she also came back, more confident, calmer and with conditions.

"Conditions?" Sasuke echoed.

"I'll marry you and have your child," Sakura slightly stumbled over the words, she felt extremely awkward, and Sasuke's indifference was beginning to unnerve her, "but only if I come along, as well as Naruto."

His reply was short, clipped, "No."

Sakura narrowed her eyes, "Those are my conditions. We'll help you; make sure you stay alive…"

Sasuke had come even closer to her, the impassive mask ever present on his face slowly slipping, eyes dangerously vibrant, "You will simply help me by having my child and keeping it safe."

Sakura snorted, "I'm sick of waiting. I won't wait, I hope you understand that. And no, it's not enough. You want me to help you your way, and I want to help you my way. It's called compromise…and if you plan on staying married to me while raising your child you better get used to it."

There was a dark, enveloping silence between them. Clearly Sasuke wasn't happy with the change of plans. Sakura was positive that maybe this time she had surprised him. Maybe for once Sasuke wouldn't take her so lightly.

Sasuke was frowning now, "Itachi is mine, understand? His blood is mine and you won't interfere."

Sakura flinched, taken aback by his vow, "I won't…kill Itachi. You can do whatever you like with him. But I'll make sure you stay safe while getting to that point. Naruto and I will help you whenever we think it's opportune. I'm a medic, remember?"

"I said no interference," Sasuke spat, "What do you think that means?"

"Interference means obstructing your goals," Sakura replied primly, lips pursued, "I'm doing no such thing. If anything, I'm helping you get to that goal more efficiently."

"I don't need help," Sasuke said, voice cold.

"That may be so," Sakura answered, "but I need help. I won't raise this child alone; I won't marry you and wait while potentially having your kid and thinking about the many ways you could've died. So this is the only way I'll remotely agree to your silly request."

Sasuke eyed her warily, "If you think it's so silly, then why did you come back to agree?"

"Because as silly as it is," Sakura murmured, her voice soft, "It's not everyday you ask me for help and it's not everyday my helping you can keep you alive.

Sasuke inhaled sharply, "And dobe's coming too?"

Sakura smiled inwardly, although to Sasuke she held onto her cool, business-like façade, "Of course."

"This is completely troublesome," Sasuke said firmly, "but if those are your conditions…"

Sakura nodded, "They are. It's more beneficial to you then anything. You should be thanking me."

Sasuke snorted, glaring at her, "Not likely."

Sakura grinned, "It was nice doing business with you Sasuke-kun."

He didn't reply, simply frowning once more and leaving the room.

* * *

**A/N:** Well, I have a feeling this will be a monster of a fic D: But I do have a LOT of ideas bouncing around in my head so maybe I can make this a plot bunny toilet so-to-speak, LOL. Anyway, I'm glad you guys enjoyed the first chapter! I'm trying to not make this as cliché as the usual 'restoration' fics seem to be :S But this will be action packed and character-oriented. I want Sakura and Sasuke to do a lot of growing up, hehehe. Please review, tell me if you guys enjoyed this :D


	3. chapter two

**Something of a Convenience**

**chapter two**

* * *

_I made the right decision…_

Sakura watched the door close behind him, feigning a smile at his steely glare. He was unaware of her wobbling chin and the tears slowly gathering under her eyes. He was completely unaware at how much she had truly sacrificed for him…how much growth she'd reversed.

It had all happened so fast, it seemed like barely a second had past by between her initial refusal to her eventual agreement. The memory of her risking his life for him in the past, with a small kunai fisted in her hands and resolution shining in her eyes was tremendous motivation…it was a mirror of the urgency she was currently going through. She knew how much her decision could change—it was a matter of life and death. She barely had any time to weigh the pros and cons, to see the full impact of her sacrifice.

She was always a systematic thinker, she went through everything like a process…and there was never a decision in her life she hadn't over-thought manically. _Except two times in her life._ The first was the day she went and told Sasuke she loved him…and the second time was now. The only two decisions she didn't think through, muse, analyse…weigh. The first one had been a horrible mistake...and a cynical part of her held no doubt that the second wouldn't be much different.

…_right?_

* * *

Naruto was sprawled on his bed, one arm behind his head and another lazily spread on his stomach. He was bored, tired…and even a bit hungry; the food here was nothing like the ramen back in Konoha. His mouth slightly watered as he remembered his favourite place in the world…Ichiraku ramen.

He swore under his breath, upset that the craving had already kicked in. He could probably rummage for some ramen to quell his desire for it till they got back home.

Suddenly the door was slammed upon and Naruto jumped back, watching Sasuke walk into the room, a dark mask clouding Sasuke's usually dispassionate face.

Naruto's eyes went to the door, swinging in an irregular fashion.

"I think you broke the door," Naruto said cheerily, smirking at Sasuke, "I guess it comes from your share of the pay."

Sasuke threw Naruto a frigid glare, "I'm paying nothing."

Naruto rolled his eyes, "What's gotten into you? I thought you'd loosen the stick in your ass after going out for a bit of running."

Sasuke frowned; he knew if he didn't tell Naruto the truth he'd find out anyway…and maybe if he heard it from him it wouldn't sound quite as outlandish.

Maybe.

"I plan to leave tonight," Sasuke began, his words low, "…for Itachi."

Naruto let out an exclamation of shock and suddenly yelped as he promptly fell out of the bed, his blankets falling down with him. Sasuke eyed Naruto warily, basically looking like a messy heap on the ground.

"You prove everyday that you are a joke of a shinobi."

Naruto jumped from the ground in offense, his eyes narrowed to slits, "You can save the jokes for another time, teme. You bastard…I'm not going to let you change the subject so quickly."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, walking towards his own bed and sitting on it, face evasive, "There really isn't all that much to tell. I'm going to find Itachi, that's all."

Naruto stared at Sasuke, bewildered as a frown began to mar his usually sunny features, "Why in the hell are you? You came back after all. That makes no sense."

"If you remember, it wasn't my choice to come back," Sasuke shrugged lethargically; "I always planned to kill. It wasn't a secret."

"Idiot…it's not that simple. _You came back_…and we already went through this once, and I think discussing how stupid you are for this is not going to do anything. It's not like you'll listen to me," Naruto spat, slumping on his bed again, rubbing his face in anger.

"I won't stay…and unfortunately," Sasuke paused, breathing out in frustration, "Unfortunately you're coming along."

Naruto sat back up, blinking, his mouth agape in disbelief, "What?"

"Close your mouth, idiot."

"What the hell…I'm coming?" Naruto whispered, shocked and completely ignoring Sasuke's request, "You haven't hit your head on a tree or something during your run?"

"No," Sasuke murmured, "Maybe Sakura though."

"Sakura-chan? What does she have to do with anything?"

"Far too much," Sasuke gritted through his teeth.

Naruto narrowed his eyes, "Hey…you better start making sense—you're making none so far, and it's pissing me off."

"Ask Sakura that," Sasuke retorted, "She's the one who came up with the ingenious idea of bringing you along."

Naruto stared at Sasuke, his eyes widened as he began spluttering, "Sakura-chan?! Why?! And when do _you_ start listening to her?"

Sasuke didn't reply, simply glaring at the wall ahead of him, sighing darkly under his breath. Naruto began to feel thoroughly annoyed. How in the hell the bastard could be so calm, Naruto thought, was beyond him. He'd said so many crazy things…all in span of ten minutes. It was enough to give Naruto a raging headache to last him a lifetime.

"Sakura," Sasuke finally began, in a tone that tried to express indifference but failing to mask the utter disdain, "will be my wife. That's why I have to listen to her."

Naruto's reaction was not only explosive but loud. Sasuke began to sorely regret every single thing that came out of his mouth in the last few hours.

* * *

Sakura was drying her hair after her much needed shower, lips pursued in concentration as she looked at her reflection, wondering if she'd be forced to change her appearance on their journey. It wasn't like her and Naruto weren't well known…plus, they both had iconic hair, pink and sunny blonde; surely someone would notice. Maybe they'd have to dye it—a nice auburn would be okay for Naruto, not too dark but not quite as eye-catching as his blonde. She couldn't think of a colour for herself, nothing seemed to fit…black? She frowned.

What was Sasuke's plan anyway? He planned to just up and leave tonight…but surely his plan needed changing, especially since he wasn't going alone anymore. Clearly he hadn't thought of that as he hardly brought up his 'plan' once she put forth her conditions—

"SAKURA-CHAN!"

Sakura snapped out of her reverie and screamed out a shrill 'pervert', her fist raised up warningly. Naruto raised his hands up in defense, swearing that he didn't see a thing.

Sakura grabbed a towel and wrapped it hurriedly around her. She eyed Naruto suspiciously, his eyes closed tightly and his hands still up. She almost giggled.

"Idiot," She murmured, though not unkindly, "Knock next time, okay?"

Naruto nodded, and grimly muttered, "Drat, I suppose that would be my last chance…ever."

"I hope you didn't just admit to actually planning to catch me naked," Sakura replied sternly.

"No Sakura-chan!" Naruto said, placating, "I promise…but it's still true. Sasuke would kill me."

Sakura narrowed her eyes, "Sasuke?"

"Well…," Naruto sighed, "you know…what with you two getting _married_."

"He told you?" Sakura asked, "That's…that's odd."

"Odd is hardly the half of it. More like insanity. It's true, isn't it?" Naruto asked, cautiously.

"It is," Sakura affirmed, smiling fondly at Naruto's tightly shut eyes, "You can open your eyes, Naruto."

He peeked an eye open and then smirked, "That's still pretty suggestive, Sakura-chan. Just a towel?"

Sakura groaned, "You're such a lewd pervert."

"And you're not helping," He added, grinning.

Sakura was brushing her hair now, Naruto staring at her, contemplative. She was truly surprised Sasuke had told Naruto so soon; she'd resigned herself to the uncomfortable task of telling him herself, knowing that Naruto wouldn't be happy about it. Surprisingly, he seemed confused…and even thoughtful.

"You seem…okay with it," Naruto suddenly said, his arms folded, "I know you probably have feelings for him but—"

"It's not about feelings, Naruto," Sakura interjected hotly, "Not at all."

"Then what is it?"

Sakura caught his intent stare and gulped, "Well…it's sort of complicated, Naruto."

"I know the both of you think me a mental midget," Naruto said, "But try me."

Sakura sighed, "Well, Sasuke had originally come to me to ask me if I wanted to get married…from the gist of it, he wanted to go back and find Itachi and wasn't exactly sure of his survival chances, so I was selected to be his dutiful wife waiting for him in Konoha."

"And you agreed?" Naruto asked, aghast, "Sakura-chan! I won't let you!"

"Oh please Naruto, give me some credit," Sakura admonished, "You really didn't expect me to agree with that?"

"But you're still getting _married_ to him."

"Yes, I revised the proposal a bit," Sakura replied, "And why do you say married like that?"

Naruto frowned, "Like what?"

"Like it's the worst thing you've ever heard. You get this disgusted look on your face too."

"It's just weird, Sakura-chan," Naruto murmured, and then he smiled back at her, albeit a bit anxiously, "I'll eventually get used to it."

"It's okay, Naruto," Sakura smiled sympathetically, "I'm hardly used to it myself. So…back to my 'revisions'."

Naruto stared back at her, intent.

"I said no to him at first," Sakura began, smiling wryly, "Although I'm sure he failed to mention that. I refused to sit by waiting for him…probably throwing himself in a suicide mission. So I thought it out…and I realised that, this could really help us all—not just Sasuke-kun, but all of us. Team 7. Maybe even Konoha."

Naruto stared at her, eyes narrowed in confusion, "I'm not exactly following."

"Well," Sakura looked as though she was sorting out her words, "Look at it this way. Sasuke is never going to let his revenge go. It really doesn't matter if we forcibly bring him back…it's a complete waste of time, and all in vain. Killing his brother…is everything to him. _Everything_. He's willing to die killing him. But we won't let him die. We'll keep him safe; we'll accompany him so we not only ensure Sasuke's life but Itachi's death. Not only that, Itachi is after you too. We're killing two birds with one stone."

Naruto stared back at her, his mouth slightly open. Sakura met his gaze, anxious. How about if Naruto refused? Sure, she could still go with Sasuke but it really wouldn't be the same…maybe it was foolish of her to think that she had a guarantee friend with her. Maybe Naruto wasn't as stupid as her.

"So? What do you think?" Sakura asked in a breath.

"That's…pretty clever of you Sakura-chan."

Sakura smiled tiredly, "Really? Thank you. But do you see any drawbacks? I was thinking my potential pregnancy…and I know there's no way of getting around that, Naruto. I suppose it's a sacrifice in the grand scheme of things, huh?"

"You seem too okay with this, Sakura-chan," Naruto said, his usual strong voice wobbling, "I mean…this is your life. You're risking everything."

"So are you!" Sakura exclaimed, "It's not just me. Do you want to see him die, Naruto? Do I want to see you die, too?"

Naruto shook his head, "It's more for you. It's…it's pregnancy, marriage…things like that shouldn't be taken lightly. He's stupid for asking you that…especially since he knows you weren't going to say no."

Sakura narrowed her eyes, "So you're saying my plan is stupid? Is that it? Well think of something better than, Naruto."

"That's not what I meant, and you know it," Naruto rebuked.

"Then what did you mean?"

"I don't like that the fact Sasuke asked you in the first place," Naruto sighed, "I can't help but think he was manipulating you."

Sakura was taken-aback. Manipulated? Really? He did say he was using her feelings to his advantage…but she did make it quite plain in his return that she didn't feel that way anymore…

…to _his_ knowledge, anyway.

"He was being Sasuke," Sakura replied, soothingly, "Anyway; I think this is our best bet Naruto. I don't think…we'd have a chance like this ever again."

"I suppose so."

Sakura smiled, "You know I'm right. It's just…a very risk plan, I know that. But I'm confident in us—with Itachi gone…maybe we can all in live a semblance of a normal life."

"Normal?" Naruto echoed, and then he scoffed with a small smile, "I find that hard to believe."

Sakura playfully punched his shoulder, "Since when aren't you disgustingly optimistic?"

"Since I realised being optimistic really does nothing."

Sakura frowned, "You can say no. You don't have to come."

"Don't be stupid, Sakura-chan," Naruto reprimanded, "I'm not going to let you do this yourself…besides, I don't exactly trust Sasuke."

Sakura grinned, "I think it's me who can't be trusted. I plan to be a horrible wife."

Naruto chuckled lightly at her, although she could tell the entire discussion was awkward for him. Maybe joking about it would make things easier…mask away the throwing of their lives…masking away the fear of uncertainty.

* * *

Sakura covered her mouth as she yawned, knocking the door of Naruto and Sasuke's room lightly. She had barely slept during the night; constant dreams about a horrible marriage and a child she really didn't want to bring to the world flittered through her dreams…and then there was a peculiar dream where she was smiling and giggling to a chubby baby. She shuddered. The latter had definitely been the creepier one out of the lot.

Naruto opened the door, staring at her groggily and greeting her. She smiled back at him. Maybe he had some creepy dreams too.

"Is Sasuke-kun up?" Sakura asked, trying to sound indifferent. Even though he had proposed to her, and their relationship had shifted (for better or for worst, she wasn't quite sure), it didn't mean she had to be overfriendly…or to revert back to her old stalker-like ways. They still had a very casual relationship, where she never mentioned her feelings of heartbreak and betrayal. It was a relationship that worked…a relationship that made sense.

Besides, it would just tilt things more into the realm of insanity. It was bad enough she would be Uchiha Sakura in the not-so-distant future.

"Of course," Naruto muttered bitterly, "I hardly slept last night…and I want ramen too."

"You can go to the kitchens and ask," Sakura suggested, "Did you guys eat breakfast yet?"

"There's no time for breakfast," Sasuke's voice was low and quiet…and hardly thick with sleep. Maybe he didn't have the same late night terrors.

_Well of course he wouldn't, _Sakura thought, _It was his idea._

"Bastard," Naruto spat, "I won't be able to function at all."

"Why not?" Sakura retorted, her eyes narrowed at Sasuke's direction, "It's not like you've discussed your grand plan with us. We're coming along, remember? Simply leaving doesn't work anymore."

Sasuke stared at her and then evenly replied, "We can discuss while we walk."

"Or discuss while we eat," Sakura smiled, "Besides, we're all hungry—eventually we'd need a break. Food will be here in ten minutes."

Sasuke sighed and sat himself down on the ground beside Naruto, who's eyes were steadily slipping back to sleep.

Sakura poked Naruto's side as she turned to Sasuke and said, "So? What's the plan?"

"We will head to Sound."

Sakura widened her eyes and Naruto spluttered out a loud 'what' in confusion.

"I need to get more training from Orochimaru," Sasuke said flatly, "Besides, he needs to be eliminated. I can't have him in the picture if I want to go pursue Itachi. It's the only way."

Sakura eyed him warily, "Can't we just kill him outright? It's three of us against one. It can't be too hard."

"Don't be silly," Sasuke murmured, "I lived in Sound, remember? I know what I'm talking about."

"You lived in Sound by yourself," Sakura reminded him, "Everything changes when Naruto and I are in the picture."

"Sakura-chan's right…it won't be too hard to kill that snake bastard."

"The both of you are fools," Sasuke breathed vehemently, "Killing Orochimaru is impossible that way. I need to gain his trust and kill him when he's unsuspecting. It's the only way. Fighting Orochimaru with brute force is juvenile and imprudent."

Sakura sighed, "Fine. We got to Sound. Then what? It's not like Naruto and I can simply stroll in."

"The both of you will live in the outskirts of the village," Sasuke said, hesitantly, "It's relatively less risky living there than by Orochimaru's base. Under no conditions can Orochimaru be aware of your existence. I need to regain his trust…he can't know I have the both of you along."

"That's…" Naruto said, his voice explosive, "The stupidest crap I've ever heard of. Living in Sound? Like what, a bunch of villagers? You've lost it completely teme."

Sasuke glared back, "Do you have a better idea, dobe? Unless you don't want to come along."

Naruto snorted, "Fat chance."

"Then…then this is no different than me waiting in Konoha, is it?" Sakura questioned her face red, "Still pregnant and weak. Waiting."

Sasuke shrugged, "This was your idea, wasn't it? I'm simply giving you a workable plan."

"There has to be another way," Sakura breathed.

Sasuke smirked, "Let me know when you figure one out."

"This bites," Naruto said, gruffly, "And how are we really helping you this way?"

"It won't be for long," Sasuke replied, "Just until I acquire more knowledge and abilities…then I'll kill Orochimaru."

A dreary silence enveloped, and Sakura never felt less pathetic in her life. Well…maybe after she woke up on a cold bench, but this particular moment was a strong contender. Her situation hardly changed at all. Sasuke was treating Naruto and herself as nuisances he had to pencil in.

There was a knock at the door, and a short elderly woman came in with an inviting smile as she brought in the trays of food.

"Good morning," The woman said cheerily, "Eat it while it's hot."

Sakura had lost her appetite.

* * *

**A/N:**

Oh, I enjoyed the reviews immensely :D I hope you guys liked this chapter. I'm going to be really busy in the next coming weeks, so updates will most definitely be sporadic. I hope my characterisation of Naruto was okay…I realised writing this that I hardly had enough practice writing him D: Personally, I tried to deviate from the stereotypical Naruto…he has his very profound moments too, IMO :D

Please review! Seriously, it's the only thing keeping me relatively happy during this hell-ish month.


	4. chapter three

**Something of a Convenience**

**chapter three**

* * *

The hotel's kitchen was extremely modest, and Sakura saw the friendly old woman working the kitchens with a little girl going this way and that—the sounds of water boiling and pots hissing engulfed Sakura as she came through the swinging doors. The aroma of food automatically hit her, and she began to sorely regret not eating breakfast when she had the chance earlier that morning.

"Excuse me?" Sakura called, willing her voice to go over the clamour.

The little girl bounded towards her, wearing oversized mitts, "Can I help you?"

"Um…can I speak to the lady cooking over there? I want to ask her a favour."

The little girl nodded and went back to the elderly woman, gesturing towards Sakura. The old woman blinked a few times and then began to beam invitingly, walking towards Sakura as she wiped the grime off her hands.

"Hello dear!" The woman said cheerily, "Was there something wrong with the breakfast? I notice you not eating it."

Sakura felt her stomach drop in shame, her cheeks colouring, "No of course not. It smelled lovely…but I had lost my appetite."

The woman nodded sympathetically, "It happens sometimes, unfortunately. I couldn't help but notice the grim atmosphere when I came in...it seemed very wrong, what with you being so young and all."

"We're shinobi," Sakura said, smiling stiffly, "We're very used to such grim matters."

The woman nodded solemnly, "Of course…we have a lot of shinobi come through this hotel. Always very young with unnaturally stoic faces. I can't help but think it's wrong. It's the old woman in me…Can't help but envy your youth and think you're throwing it away."

_Throwing it away? _

Sakura never thought of her kunoichi duties that way…as though she were wasting it by putting her life on the line. It was a sacrifice, to put it rightfully. An honourable sacrifice. So many deaths…so many people mourned over, but even if a person that thought it was a waste it was never said aloud. She wasn't in denial by all means; she knew exactly what she was doing and thought it was worth it…death although a scary prospect was hardly an obstacle in her defending of Konoha—in her defending of lives.

It seemed like a dark coincidence that her mind automatically went to her impending marriage. Was she throwing away her life in that way? Naruto thought so. If she were to tell this elderly woman that she was marrying a man that hardly loved her and having his children just to stay by his side and keep him alive…what would she think? Foolish maybe. Completely stupid. For some reason it was easy to defend the throwing away of her life but not the throwing away of her heart.

"Anyway," The old woman said abruptly, smiling warily, "No point in rambling about what I think. I do find it very brave of you children…that much is sure. You see that little girl of there? Maaya is her name, an orphan girl I've given work. She very much wants to be a kunoichi like you but I can't let her do it…I suppose you find that selfish of me."

Sakura did find it selfish…but when she thought about it, this old smiling woman was probably very lonely…that little girl was possibly her only companion.

"I know you think so," The woman said, chuckling awkwardly, "I don't even need to ask, do I? I know it might be difficult for you to understand, but when you are as old as me and so alone…you tend to do whatever you can to ensure you aren't dying without anybody there. I want Maaya to bury me. That's not too horrible right?"

"No," Sakura whispered, and this time she wasn't lying.

The old woman gave her a watery smile, "Anyway, enough about me. What's it that you want dear?"

"Oh! Well, I was wondering if I could grab some rations? Just anything you may have in the kitchen," Sakura asked, "If it's not any trouble."

The woman shook her head dismissively, "Of course it isn't. Help yourself to whatever you like."

Sakura smiled her thanks and opened a nearby cupboard, grabbing non perishable foods and other dry packages. Unfortunately, fresh food was quite out of the question unless Sasuke would allow them to go to stores…_if_ they had stores in Sound. She often pictured a desolate place with bones scattered here and there.

Filling up her backpack to its utmost capacity, Sakura hefted it up to her back. It was extremely heavy, but a small price she would make for having her stomach filled.

"Do you have ramen, by any chance?" Sakura asked.

The woman nodded, pointing towards a cupboard on the other side of the room, "It's for that bright-haired child, yes?"

Sakura smiled, "Yeah. I'm guessing he came down?"

The woman grinned, "A bit late last night...something about it being hardly close to the ramen back home but I forgave him for his lack of tact. Seemed like a very nice child."

Sakura nodded, "He is."

_And I'm probably ruining his life by letting him come with me…maybe I'm not that different from you at all._

Sakura fished her pockets and pulled out a wad of money, "I hope that's enough."

"Oh dear, I can hardly take it. Keep it."

Sakura's mouth was slightly agape, "But…I've taken quite a bit. Please, take it."

The old woman smiled, "Consider it replacement for the breakfast you didn't eat."

"I can't possibly…"

"I won't be swayed, child," The old woman said serenely, "Might as well avoid a frustrating argument with me. I'm far too stubborn for my own good."

Sakura was at lost for words, her hands shaking feebly as she pocketed the cash, reverently avoiding the kind eyes of the old woman.

"Thank you," Sakura murmured, heartened, "I don't know what else to say…I feel like I should…"

"Thank you is enough, dear." The old woman interjected placidly.

Sakura nodded once more, her chest feeling very full as she quickly left the warm kitchen, the knapsack on her back making her shoulders sag painfully.

She couldn't really explain the need of leaving the old woman's kitchen so quickly. All she knew was that a lot of what she said hit close to home. She couldn't possibly understand how she ever acquainted selfishness with that old and sweet woman. How she could possibly think her selfish when she was doing the exact same thing—taking Naruto with her.

Sakura sighed, walking down the stairs and shifting the strap on her shoulder to ease the pain. Maybe comforting stay at the hotel was far too lax on her body; she was already feeling stiff with little physical exertion. She cringed mentally thinking about the long trek awaiting her and the lack of sleep too.

And all of a sudden she began missing her own comfy bed, her delicious morning cup of tea, the nice weather ever present at Konoha…the lack of blood, gore and dead bodies scattered like confetti all over the streets.

She'd peg her discomfort to wild imagination but she didn't doubt her intuition at all—Sound seemed like the type of place beyond anyone's wildest imagination…it always made her shiver to know that Sasuke went there willingly…

…and brought back unwilling with brute force by Konoha superiors. Jiraiya and other ANBU shinobi on duty who had found him walking aimlessly (although Sakura couldn't quite believe that…aimless seemed like a contradiction to everything Sasuke was. He never did a thing without intent) around Jiraiya's target area. Sakura still wasn't sure about the details; it seemed a bit suspicious that shinobi would just come into contact with Sasuke so coincidently when they were working tirelessly at the time to find any information on him. Either way, he was subdued and brought back to Konoha half-dead.

He clearly wasn't happy to see Naruto and her at first. To be perfectly honest, Sakura wasn't either. He'd come back merely six months after their explosive reunion and him trying to slash her into pieces. Sakura didn't expect it to be a happy reunion…she stopped expecting a reunion at all after awhile, not at first, but slowly, gradually. She was losing faith in him bit by bit.

Things slowly got back to 'normal', though that seemed like an awful word to use to describe their relationship. Things were…tolerable. Things were easy to handle. Sakura stopped getting flashbacks to being dropped stone cold on a bench eventually, and that was a good thing right?

_Utterly pathetic, more like._

"And now I'm marrying him," Sakura grumbled aloud, walking down the brightly lit hallway back to her hotel room...

…and her mouth promptly went dry as she saw Sasuke staring at her, his face oddly blank.

"Sasuke," Sakura bit out quietly, literally swallowing her embarrassment in the form of a gulp.

He stared back at her.

"You don't have to stare at me like that," Sakura murmured, voice wavering, "…people tend to think aloud sometimes…it's not horrible."

"You sounded upset," He stated flatly.

"No!" She said abruptly, "I'm not…I'm just…"

She didn't know what to say. She heard her own voice, after all. She literally spat out the word marriage like it was a disease. Of course she sounded upset to him…she may have even sounded a bit insulting. The feeling of guilt settling in her stomach didn't feel quite as alien as she would have expected if she pondered how she'd feel if she insulted Sasuke…liberating would probably be her initial response, not twisting guilt.

"Where did you go?" He asked her, his voice sounding every bit the easy nonchalance she hated.

"The kitchens," She replied, feeling slightly awkward, "Are we ready to go?"

"Almost. Just waiting for Naruto."

She nodded mutely, peering at him under her eyelashes. He looked comfortable…not upset or anything, although seeing Sasuke upset over an insult seemed a tad farfetched. He also looked like he'd gotten more sleep than Naruto and her combined.

The silence was grating on her nerves, and she still felt stiff even though the bag was nestled comfortably between her knees.

"…so how long will the trek be?" Sakura asked, willing herself to sound casual.

"A couple days at most…we can afford to take a break every night seeing as the Hokage thinks we're just about to make the trip back to Konoha. It should be approximately the same distance."

Sakura nodded, smiling a bit to herself at how he still referred to Tsunade-sama as Hokage. At least this time he wasn't breaking his ties so swiftly.

Sakura began chewing her cheek soon after but thankfully Naruto bolted into the hallway, looking ragged and still very much sleep deprived.

"You took forever, Naruto," Sakura said, eyebrows furrowed, "What took you so long?"

He leaned in for a whisper, "I took a bit of a nap…Sasuke the keener was being a hard-ass."

Sakura giggled despite herself, although she slightly swatted him, "You should've said earlier. I would've taken a nap too."

"I can hear you, dobe," Sasuke drawled.

"So? I had hardly any sleep last night and then you tell me to pack up! If you want my help you better start being more sympathetic."

Sasuke snorted, "…Right. Let's get going."

"This'll be fun, won't it?" Sakura said dryly and Naruto groaned in response.

* * *

Naruto made poor company when he was tired and severely lacking in ramen intake. She huffed out for the fifteenth time that day, as they walked past a gated compound, the dark roofs peeking out in her line of vision. She presumed they were walking through some lesser known village, lack of shinobi said as much. Few very professional looking men had walked past them once in awhile but other than that the only human interaction close to her was the slumping Naruto and mute Sasuke.

Sakura groaned softly, the heavy backpack and the overworking of her legs incredibly taxing on her body. She would've kept her mouth shut and not asked for a break if it was just her feeling the weight of their trek, but Naruto was also walking incredibly slow.

Bounding up towards Sasuke who (predictably) was leading the way, Sakura observed him thoughtfully, he looked tired himself…maybe she was wrong about him sleeping more than her?

"Sasuke-kun."

He grunted—the only indication to her that he was actually listening.

Sakura took in a deep breath, "I think we're due for a break now."

"No breaks," He replied shortly, "It's almost dark, might as well make it to our site and sleep the night."

Sakura sighed, "Fine…but Naruto's barely walking by this point."

He turned in her direction, dark eyes regarding her carefully, "You wanted a break for yourself, right?"

Sakura tried to come off offhand, but her deceptively pink cheeks gave her away, "I'm not the weak link this time around…and I think it says something when Naruto's tired too."

"If you want me to carry your bag, you can simply say so," Sasuke stated flatly.

Sakura stopped walking, glaring in his direction as she haughtily cried, "I didn't come to you so you can carry my bag! I've carried heavier without chakra. I asked for a break that everybody—including you!—need."

"We can't afford a break," He retorted, somewhat impatiently, "So if you want me to hold your bag, then give it."

"No," She rebuked hotly, "I can carry it myself _thank you very much_."

He rolled his eyes, continuing to walk in a steady pace, Sakura slightly struggling to keep up with him.

"What's in the bag anyway?"

"Girl things," Sakura replied quickly, afraid that if she said food Naruto would hear and exhaust their supplies.

He raised a delicate eyebrow, "An awful lot, isn't it?"

"Not really," She said, shrugging easily, "I could've taken a lot more but I was taking one for the team."

"Are you trying to imply something?" Sasuke said bluntly, "I happen to not like subtly."

Sakura stared at him, confused, "No…I was just joking. You still have a sense of humour right?"

"Maybe you just aren't funny?" He responded dryly.

Sakura glared at him before turning back to stare across from her, the dusty road ahead of them seeming awfully long.

"What did you think I was implying, anyway?" Sakura demanded.

"That I was making you sacrifice things because you agreed to marry me," He said.

"I would never say that," Sakura murmured defensively, "And…to be perfectly honest it's sort of insulting you even think I could."

"Don't insult my intelligence, Sakura," He said, darkly, "I've already gotten an earful from Naruto…and it's not exactly difficult to see you don't like the idea."

"You..," Sakura began sternly, "You seem to forget I agreed…and like I'd complain about not taking enough girl things! You really think of me as shallow, don't you?"

"It's not what you're sacrificing," He reprimanded, "It's the fact that you are sacrificing at all. And yes, you agreed but that didn't stop you from crying last night, did it? Or the fact that you were grumbling about it this morning."

"I was crying?" Sakura asked, eyes widened, "I…I didn't know."

"You were having some dream," He added.

She hardly had any sleep at all, and yes she had a couple of eerie dreams but she didn't think it would warrant tears of despair. She felt slightly uncomfortable realising that Sasuke had seen her in that state…and maybe a little guilty too.

"I don't blame you for anything," Sakura said, reassuringly, "I said yes, so whatever crying you happen to stumble upon again…it's probably not your fault."

He snorted derisively in response.

Sakura eyed him warily, "Why were you in my room anyway?"

"It's not what you think," He said tersely.

"What do you think _I _think?"

He frowned, "Stop with the mind games."

"It's just a question," Sakura said softly, "And you can't blame me for being paranoid."

"You're afraid of me?"

"Of course not," Sakura said tightly, "…the circumstances maybe. But anyway, if I was so afraid why would I agree to marry you?"

"Because you're an idiot," He deadpanned.

"I thought you wanted me to marry you," Sakura said, offended, "Are you playing mind games?"

"No."

Sakura sighed, "It's never good with you is it? You can't ever be completely satisfied."

He didn't reply; hands now stuffed in his pockets and his pace quicker.

Sakura doesn't bother to match his pace this time, to force his gaze to meet hers and not look through her. She's resigned to the fact that Sasuke clearly didn't want to speak with her and no amount of pressuring was going to make him more willing.

Sakura couldn't rectify from her mind was how horrible their marriage would be—their crappy dysfunctional friendship and comradeship a mirror.

But the saddest part was how this little fact wasn't much of a shock at all.

* * *

Sakura lied on her cold mat in silence.

They'd finally made it to their campsite after a few more hours of frustrating quiet—Sakura was glad for the opportunity to busy herself with setting up tents, making food, folding blankets; anything at all to keep her mind off her annoying thoughts. She'd always had a wild imagination, and most of the scenarios she'd conjured up left more than bitter taste in her mouth.

Sasuke was more reclusive than usual, as though he was avoiding her existence rather than his routine of simply ignoring it. Sakura found it slightly less offensive, oddly enough. At least she was being a pest enough to make him aware of her.

Fortunately, she wasn't going to entertain the mechanics of her train of thought and how unbelievably unhealthy it was.

And now she was cold, willing her eyes not to close and go through another crying episode. This time she wasn't in a warm hotel with doors and locked windows, now she was in a flapping tent and practically exposed for all to see.

The frustrating part was she couldn't even anticipate when she was going to start crying…she didn't even know the catalyst.

She faced her pillow and screamed soundlessly in the cushion, trying to bring order into the chaos in her head.

Somehow, Sakura had fallen asleep, her cheeks pressed into the pillow, damp with tears. She felt somebody trying to rouse her awake, shaking her shoulder and whispering her name.

Her eyes hesitantly opened and she met Sasuke's dark ones, and Sakura soon realised that not only were her cheeks damp, so was her mouth.

"Sasuke..?" She breathed drowsily.

"Get up."

Sakura watched Sasuke leave her tent soon after he said his command, as she tried to swallow the embarrassment of having her face probably a right sight.

She bit her lip as she dressed hurriedly, stumbling out of the tent. Sasuke was leaning against a tree, seemingly waiting patiently but Sakura couldn't ignore the scowl present on his face.

"What's going on?" Sakura questioned groggily.

"You need to be quiet," Sasuke said, somewhat sternly, "Naruto might wake up if you continue to be loud."

Sakura glared at him, "Well it'd be nice if you told me I wasn't supposed to be loud."

His scowl intensified in response as he stood upright and motioned for her to follow.

Eventually they were standing in front of a small office, and Sakura felt her stomach flip-flop rapidly, her palms already growing sweaty.

She stood there, frozen as Sasuke walked toward the door and opened it easily.

_I'm not ready for this, _She thought raggedly, her eyes already stinging, _I'm not ready._

"Can I help you?" An old man asked doggedly.

The light was dim in the office, and Sakura could barely see the balding man in front of her, looking ridiculously bored. The stench of smoke tickled her nose irritatingly and it didn't help the nausea that hit her when she realised that she was going to be married in a few minutes.

"Marriage license," Sasuke said, and Sakura was unimaginably glad she couldn't see him in the dark and he couldn't see her. Glad that he was facing away from her and not seeing the telltale tears currently dripping down her cheeks.

The man brought forth papers and Sasuke handed him some coins, bending down to fill out the paper in neat, almost calligraphic like writing. Sakura could only hear the thudding of her heart, the shaking of her knees, and she was also acutely aware of his knee slightly touching her leg.

"Sakura…" Sasuke said quietly, almost hesitantly. She couldn't bear to turn around and meet his gaze so Sakura robotically took the pen from his hand and shakily signed on the dotted line, willing her mouth to keep shut so she wouldn't scream out loud…or possibly puke.

Sakura swayed slightly as the man told them some rehearsed formalities as Sasuke nodded once, twice. Sakura couldn't understand how he could be standing there, cold and unforgiving, acting like all of this was normal….that all of this was okay.

And then she realised that he wasn't losing anything—he wasn't the one losing his name, _it was her_. She was the one leaving that stinky registrar's office without her last name; without being whole.

She was the one changing, not him.

* * *

**A/N:** I know, I know…very late update D: But I had this half typed out so I finished as quick as I could before I head out of city for a bit! Glass House update next weekend hopefully :D Please let me know what you thought of this, as always last chapter's reviews were tremendousssss!! Thank you so much, and please point out any errors you might come across, I haven't had a chance to get this beta'd DX

Thank you!


	5. chapter four

**Something of a Convenience **

**chapter four**

When Sakura emerged out of the tent, dry soil wafted up to her face and left her in a messy pile of repetitive sneezing. She cursed silently, upset that her morning already began with the slight annoyance—she could barely contain her glee at what the rest of the day would be like. Rubbing her eyes frantically, Sakura scanned the setting before her. The other tents were missing, already rolled up and packed away. A fire was burning in the centre of the clearing, as Sasuke and Naruto sat round it. Naruto was chomping away at his fish whilst Sasuke dutifully watched over the remaining ones. She felt her face grow hot upon looking at him, flashbacks from the night before muddling her mind. Upon closer inspection, Sakura noticed that Sasuke really wasn't looking over his fish all that dutifully—rather he was staring at her. Perhaps her sneezing was louder than she thought? She glanced quickly at Naruto and noticed he was oblivious, as usual.

Sakura braced herself for the upcoming predicament. She knew how hard it was going to be to look at Naruto. She knew how hard it would be to smile, laugh and act like her usually-merry self. She knew how difficult it would be to look Sasuke in the eye and not feel utterly betrayed. But she had too, not just for her team's sake but for herself. Last night was not only a legal change but a revelation—Sakura didn't realize how difficult marrying him would be, she didn't realize how much it would hurt. But she couldn't possibly let anybody know that, and prove not only Naruto right but Sasuke himself. She didn't need to be weak—especially since her only sacrifice would mean everything for the lives she cared about.

It meant life and death.

Taking in a deep breath, Sakura willed a smile and walked briskly toward the surrounded fire. Naruto noticed her mid-bite and questions began pouring out his mouth. Why did you wake up late, Sakura-chan? Doesn't this place suck, Sakura-chan? Isn't this fish overcooked, Sakura-chan? Are you hungry, Sakura-chan?

While answering the myriad of questions, Sakura couldn't stop the one thought that plagued her mind: _I'm not Sakura-chan anymore, Naruto. _

Meanwhile, Sasuke was still staring at her in that stony, analytical way and Sakura could hardly contain the nervous shivers. It was her fault anyway; she shouldn't make her uneasiness so transparent. It wasn't like Sasuke was an expert at detecting her moods…and just because they were married; it didn't mean he acquired sudden tools to understand her to begin with. She needed to let go of the old notions of marriage…it most certainly it didn't apply to her despite childhood fantasies.

"It's almost noon," Sasuke glanced at her momentarily, "You need to eat."

Sakura bit the inside the cheek to quell the urge of an automatic retort. She needed to be objective; as annoying as it was hearing him order her now, it was also a relief. She could spend the time chewing overcooked fish instead of ardently avoiding his gaze.

And she planned on taking her sweet time too.

--

Walking. Walking. Walking.

That seemed like all they did, all they talked about, all they _cared_ about. Was Orochimaru's base that far? And why did they stay at the random village anyway? Naruto pouted, squinting his eyes ahead of him and seeing barren land, as usual. He felt completely oblivious and this time he didn't think that (usual) state of mind had anything to do with him; clearly Sakura and Sasuke were keeping something from him, the decidedly dark tension enveloping them said as much.

Sasuke was more reclusive than usual—he woke up disgustingly early that morning, already picking up scattered wood to make a fire, the scowl permanent on his face all the more deeper. Naruto wanted to ask him what was wrong but decided against it—normally that question got him nowhere. All he could deduce was that it had to do with Sakura and the random stop at the tiny village they rested at the night before was not a coincidence.

Glancing at Sakura, Naruto could see she was deep in thought. She was biting her bottom lip, her arms folded across her stomach as her eyes scanned the surroundings meticulously.

Something happened. Something they didn't want him to know.

Automatically, Naruto's eyes landed on Sakura's ring finger, his heart beating loudly in his chest. He breathed an inadvertent sigh of relief when he realized there was no ring there. His deepest fears weren't (yet) realized.

Naruto looked up, noticing the sky darken. Sasuke the militant hadn't allowed any breaks this time, stating that there were nearby the outskirts of Sound and there really wasn't any point in taking breaks other than the quick pit-stop. Sasuke even made them walk while the ate, Naruto really didn't mind but he noticed Sakura's furrowed eyebrows and deepened frown as she took in a bite of her food when he indulged in the few quick glances at her.

Ever since he heard about the proposal…and Sakura's acceptance of it, he felt even more guilty about the way he felt about her—even taking a quick glance at her to satiate his meddlesome concern left him in a state of guilt. It wasn't fair. How could Sakura take Sasuke back in her heart again?

_Stop it._

He was being stupid and selfish. Sakura told him it had nothing to do with feelings…and even if it did, he still had no right to be angry or hurt. It wasn't like Naruto owned her or anything…it wasn't even like he squandered the nerve to actually tell her how he felt—for real, anyway.

"Naruto!"

Naruto snapped his head to look at Sakura, her eyes glancing at him worryingly. She frowned beseechingly at him, playfully shouldering his side.

"You were totally out of it," She murmured, "Are you okay?"

Naruto laughed easily, scratching his neck, "Of course! What makes you think anything is wrong?"

"Well, I kept saying your name and you had this dazed look on your face," She shrugged, darkly adding, "Must be the lack of breaks."

Naruto chuckled, "Guess it's getting to you too?"

Sakura sighed, "I think my feet are permanently numbed."

"You know you can just tell Sasuke, right? You have better chance at asking for something and coming out relatively unscathed."

Sakura pursed her lips, staring ahead at Sasuke's moving back, her eyes slightly narrowed. Normally, she would've agreed with Naruto…but ever since Sasuke barged into her tent the night before, taking her to get married without prior knowledge, she couldn't help but feel a little sting in her chest every time she thought of it. Clearly her opinion wasn't as respected as she thought.

_But then how was he supposed to know anyway? It's not like I told him that I wanted a proper marriage…or even one I knew about. It wasn't like I put any conditions on that. _

Naruto glanced despondently at Sakura, wishing he could understand the internal war she was fighting that was so evident on her face.

He could always read her like book….except unlike Sasuke; he never knew what he was seeing.

--

They were finally there. The outskirts of Sound. Sasuke really hadn't alerted them verbally, but they could tell by his abruptly halted walk…

…and the chilly, cold air suffocating them.

While they weren't exactly in Sound village, the outskirts weren't all that pleasing to the eye either. Rocky hills were aplenty and a fog seemed to loom like skin over the air. Small houses were scattered all over the vast terrain before them…and there was absolutely no sign of a living being.

Sakura involuntarily shuddered again.

For the first time in hours, Sasuke turned around to address them, his face the ever stony and calculated mask.

"We need to rent a temporary home for you two," He announced, eying them carefully.

"And you?" Sakura retorted incredulously, "You're going to leave for Orochimaru's base _now_?"

Sasuke raised a lone eyebrow in apparent surprise. Maybe he was surprised at hearing her talk back…or maybe the fact that even hearing her voice was a surprise in and of itself.

"I thought that went without saying," Sasuke stated.

"I…_we _knew you were going eventually but that doesn't mean you have to go now," Sakura replied, "It's almost sundown, and you're still human last I checked so I think you can stay with us for a few days."

"It's better for our security if I go right away. Orochimaru isn't an idiot…and he's capable of basic math."

"But—!"

"It's better like this," Sasuke interrupted.

"I don't like the feeling of this place," Naruto implored, "It's so dark…and gloomy. And how are we supposed to rent a place?"

"From who seems like the better question," Sakura mumbled, "There's not a living soul out here."

Dark eyes bored towards Naruto's direction as Sasuke succinctly said, "There's a small renting place up ahead. The owner is a bit of a cheapskate."

"You're a wealth of information, Sasuke-kun," Sakura replied sarcastically.

"You prefer I come and completely ruin our plan, making the owner aware of my existence and my association with you?"He stared point-blank at her, and Sakura could tell he was fighting a sneer, "If you like, I can accompany you."

Her eyes hardened at the veiled insult, fighting her mouth to stay closed and swallow the retort that was ready to burst out of her mouth. There was no denying that the tension between them was remotely not friendly…but she didn't need to make it explosive enough to make Naruto worry.

"No thanks," Sakura said, in a tone narrowly away from snarling. She hefted her bag more securely on her shoulder and began walking past Sasuke, feet determined and expression cold. Dark eyes traced her movements and Sakura tried to quench the urge to look back.

Suddenly, a steely grip grabbed her lower arm, as Sasuke looked calmly into her face. He always held the talent to completely unnerve her. Sakura tried, futilely, to jerk away from his grasp.

"What do you want?" Sakura seethed, eyes narrowed.

He searched her eyes a second longer and in a low tone murmured, "Be careful. It may not be Sound in name…but this area is just as dangerous."

Sakura felt her heart plummet. Her anger suddenly drained away at his unconventional warning and she felt guilt replace her earlier angry defiance. She closed her eyes and turned her head away from him. Unable to look.

Unable to think.

Sakura heard rather than saw a low crunch of branches underfoot and Naruto's voice regarding Sasuke, "You be careful too. The snake bastard probably isn't happy to see you."

Sakura felt her eyes grow glassy, unshed tears filling under her lashes. Naruto was completely right…and during her fit of selfish anger, she didn't even realize the potentially fatal situation Sasuke was getting himself into…simply to ensure their safety.

Because she obsessed over being married…she completely had forgotten why she did it in the first place.

Naruto lightly nudged her side, silently beckoning her to follow his lead. Sakura stared at Sasuke one last time, his expression unchanging, and she felt her heart slightly break.

No time for goodbyes. Not time for apologies.

The only sound she heard was Sasuke's retreating footsteps.

**A/N:** Durr, it's been awhile D: School's been dreadful and then I conveniently went to suffer the WORST dry spell I've ever experienced. I literally couldn't write…despite my previous penned plan. Either way, with school nearing its end…I thought I'd TRY to write something and feel somewhat productive.

Hopefully the chapter sounded okay, no excuses of course…but my writing has definitely suffered.

Please review.


	6. chapter five

**Something of a Convenience**

**chapter five**

Sakura dropped her heavy bag and stretched, a loud yawn emitting from her mouth. As the bag fell, dust immediately scurried into the air—it was a fitting reminder of where they were now living. Sakura had made a pointed effort in ignoring the state of their new accommodations—just the look of the rental place itself and the snooty man that had rented them the apartment had aroused home-sickness and nausea.

It wasn't like she was expecting housing that remotely likened that of Konoha, after all it was relatively clear that the outskirts of Sound didn't abide by the same standard of living. However, their one-room apartment looked like it had been recently demolished.

Naruto's sudden yelp broke Sakura of her reverie and she caught the tail of an extraordinarily large rat running by his feet.

"Oh that's just disgusting," Naruto breathed.

Naruto stating such a thing was poignant—Sakura ordinarily referred to Naruto's apartment in the same manner.

Sakura sighed, hands on her hips. Perhaps the apartment _was_ disgusting but that didn't mean they couldn't make the best of it. This was their new home; Sakura had to be positive lest she lose her mind.

"Naruto, how much money do we have left?"

Naruto rummaged through his pockets and pulled out a handful of coins. The apartment's monthly rental spliced their finances in half…even if she deduced that food wouldn't be that expensive, they still didn't have money to go by two months.

"We should've went back to Konoha and gotten our pay for the mission," Naruto said, stuffing the coins messily back into his pockets, "We can't survive like this. Sasuke didn't think this through at all."

Sakura would have readily agreed to blaming Sasuke if hadn't been so hard to do so. They lost sight of how much he was sacrificing in the process—just thinking about his own homecoming back to Orochimaru's lair made her whiten.

"Perhaps Sasuke didn't think this through," Sakura placated, "but there's nothing we can do about it now. We need to think of a way to conspicuously gain money."

Naruto groaned and threw himself on-top of Sakura's large bag, effectively crushing most of the instant ramen she'd scrounged days earlier. Naruto blanched immediately, hopping off the bag and quickly unzipping it.

"That sounded like ramen!"

Sakura rolled her eyes, "It was ramen."

Naruto pulled out one pathetic looking noodle cup and feigned optimism, "It still looks fine right?"

Sakura squarely stared at the dented cup, the lid already opened. Audibly sighing, Sakura walked toward the sink and turned on the hot water tap, fingertips ready to feel the temperature. She was sure that water wasn't supposed to look so grey.

Naruto ripped off the lid and shook the cup hesitantly. He was grateful it was instant ramen he squashed and not warm bread, or rice balls, or steak. Naruto's stomach growled as he realized that instant ramen would hardly satiate his current need for beef.

"Bring two noodle cups, Naruto," Sakura called over the sound of a thin stream of grey looking water, "It's time for dinner."

--

Naruto patted his stomach and sighed happily, back laid against his jumpsuit. His eyes bored into the dark, half constructed ceiling and he wished it was stars he was looking at instead. If he had the choice, they'd be sleeping under trees and on top of grass with stars all around them. However, he knew better to even suggest a thing—he knew Sakura well enough that she would readily prefer a downtrodden apartment than fresh air.

At the mention of her name, Naruto eyes gravitated once more to her ring finger. He exhaled in relief, eyes now resting on her sleeping face. He really had to stop that…no, he had to stop all of it. He couldn't even guiltily enjoy anything because Sasuke was like a looming presence over her, constantly reminding. Ring or not he had to stop feeling that way about her.

"Easier said than done," He murmured sullenly.

"Naruto?"

Naruto tensed as Sakura's eyes fluttered open and stared at him. She looked around her surroundings, perhaps realizing she wasn't in her comfy bed but on the newly dusted kitchen floor in Sound.

"I can't believe I actually slept," Sakura laughed brokenly, perhaps half hoping a big rat would appear and break the current lull of security.

"Ramen always did help me sleep back home," Naruto gave her a toothy smile and Sakura visibly recoiled.

"That plastic crap just momentarily filled me up—I wish I was eating some real food. Besides, you're still awake."

Naruto shrugged, "Maybe I'm not tired."

Sakura looked up at him, arms under her head, "Homesick?"

He chuckled, "I'm not a baby, Sakura."

"Anyone can be homesick," She refuted.

"You're not."

"I don't think its hit me yet," Sakura mumbled, knocking her foot against Naruto's, "Besides, with you here it's easier to get by."

Naruto blushed visibly and futilely tried to hide it. Sakura always seemed to forget her effect on him—or perhaps she simply didn't care. Oddly, Naruto began to feel constricted and warm, suddenly aware of Sakura's close proximity against him.

"And Sasuke," Naruto added lamely.

Sakura gave a half-hearted smile, "I wonder how he's doing. Better food than instant ramen, I hope."

Naruto snorted, "Orochimaru's probably feeding him human guts and feet."

"Naruto!" Sakura admonished, but she was laughing. Naruto peered closer at her and also realised that her eyes were glassy.

"You miss him, don't you Sakura-chan?"

Sakura pushed her knees even closer to her stomach, and pointedly looked away from Naruto. Of course she missed him…but more importantly, she was worried about him. As every minuscule moment passed by, she began to obsessively analyse if she'd made a huge mistake. Waiting aimlessly proved to be such a heavy burden and it fit neatly a-top her chest, just like the old friend it was. Sakura turned to her other side and stared ahead of her to the wooden door.

That was when Sakura heard the hollow, repetitive knocking—it was frantic and the lull of false security immediately evaporated. Sakura quickly stood upright and bounded towards the door. She heard Naruto yelling at her to wait but her hands were already fidgeting at the locks and working the doorknob.

Sakura felt Sasuke whoosh past her and close the door back quickly, locks back in place. She stared wide-eyed at his matted hair and blood-stained face, mind distantly aware of the drip, drip, drip of blood on the ground.

"Teme!"

Sakura stood there, frozen in muted shock as Naruto draped Sasuke's shoulder over his own and pulled him away from the door, a trail of dark blood behind him. He placed Sasuke on-top of his jumpsuit and quickly ripped his clothes open, yelling at Sakura to come and help.

Willing her feet to run made her muscles ache as though she were lifting a ton. Her heart was pounding so deep that it vibrated around her and she wished she could stop thinking. Just to stop thinking and help him. But she couldn't believe this. She had made a terrible mistake and now she was looking down on Sasuke, half-dead and bloody.

Her hands shook visibly as she felt the chakra pushing to her fingertips, making Sasuke's face glow green. Though her voice was steady as she ordered Naruto to grab her supplies, inwardly she felt like crying. Sakura was a medic—and she knew some place, deep inside of her that Sasuke coming to her like this was a certainty, an eventuality.

Sasuke's eyes slowly opened as he took in his surroundings. Sakura felt her mouth dry at his revival but she could hardly celebrate.

"Teme! What the hell happened?! Did Orochimaru do this?" Naruto demanded, though it was clear he was forcing himself to not lash out angrily.

"Of course," Sasuke coughed feebly, "It was expected."

Sakura's eyes widened and she felt Naruto beside her shaking in fury.

"What do you mean it was expected?" Naruto asked.

"Because Sasuke knew this would happen," Sakura replied, voice shaking, "Right?"

Sasuke coughed again, this time with blood seeping over his lips, "It wasn't like Orchimaru would be pleased to see me again Not only did I leave Sound but I stayed in Konoha. I was meant to be his new body, remember?"

"So he beat you," Sakura finished, "If you knew then why you didn't tell us? We could've done something!"

"That's right!" Naruto ventured, "We could've protected you…helped you…are you suicidal?"

"This was a necessary step for defeating Orochimaru," Sasuke closed his eyes once more, "He'll feel somewhat sympathetic towards me now…of course he still wants my body. I look remorseful, trusting. This had to happen…not just for Orochimaru's retribution but for finally defeating him as well."

Suddenly, Naruto stood up and turned his head away. He grabbed Sakura's bag, dumped its contents and made his way out the kitchen and to the bedroom. Naruto made his way to turn the knob but he turned around and fixed Sasuke with a withering glare.

When he spoke, his voice was deadly quiet. Naruto was utterly betrayed and Sakura knew come tomorrow that the same betrayal would finally hit her.

"This was not what I agreed to, teme….seeing you like this and because of Orochimaru? This is not what I wanted!"

Sakura flinched as the bedroom door slammed loudly and the subsequent awkward silence was just as painful.

Sasuke's haggard breathing alerted her to continue her healing and the warm glow emerged once more. Mid-way, Sakura would stop and clean his wounds. He would wince as he stared out the window, perhaps waiting for the sun to come out. Sakura wondered if this was how it was always going to be…her waiting for him to come and him waiting to leave.

The hours crawled by and Sakura was fighting her heavy lids. She felt Sasuke lightly tap her shoulder, easing her to get up. She widened her eyes to see him sitting upright, face completely vacant of the earlier wincing and grimaces.

"It's time for me to go."

Sakura instinctively shook her head, "But I'm not done healing you. Just one more hour!"

"I can't," He replied resolutely, "I'm going to remove the bandages anyway…It'd look suspicious."

Sakura frowned, her hands in fists beside her. She could hardly summon the anger; she was fatigued and almost depleted of chakra.

"Are you coming later?" She asked.

He stood up, already donning on the Sound uniform. She stood up soon after and helped him tie the bow round his waist. She looked up and realised that he was actively avoiding her gaze, instead eyes fixed ahead of her.

"Maybe. It isn't definite."

Sakura nodded and a sarcastic laugh emitted from her mouth, "So this is it then? That's all you have to say?"

Sasuke frowned, "What do you want me to say?"

"We're a team, Sasuke!" Sakura spat, "We're a team and…you're treating us like emotionless robots. Like we aren't supposed to be affected by all of this. When Naruto and I agreed—"

"You both knew the conditions," Sasuke interceded pitilessly, "This isn't a surprise."

Sakura tightened her hold on his bow, feeling frustrated and useless. But the reality was that this feeling would have occurred either way. They were stuck. At least she had the chance to heal him…and help somewhat. Sadly, this was infinitely better if they were instead fated to stay in Konoha, painfully ignorant.

Sakura let go of his bow, her hands falling limply to her side. Sasuke made his way toward the door, staring at her beforehand with an intensity filled with finality.

"Be careful," Sakura called, "And come back."

Sasuke walked into the distance, and through the outline of the shabby, creaky door Sakura saw him raise a hand in answer.

A/N:

better late than never, no? I literally wrote this in an hour, but i'm far too impatient to wait and get this beta'd so while i've done compulsory editing please let me know if there are glaring mistakes. hopefully easing back into this was smoother than it felt D:


	7. chapter six

**Something of a Convenience**

**chapter six**

Sakura stared sullenly at the blank piece of paper on her lap, her fingers absentmindedly twirling a pencil between her fingers. She leaned back on her heavy bag cushioned with coat and blankets as her bent knees slid down the tiled floor beneath her.

She was bored.

Naruto had finally gotten himself work doing odd missions for the past two weeks—well, Sakura wasn't even sure it could be called that. They were more like errands and would hardly be considered D-level in Konoha. However, it was admittedly the best Naruto could do in the outskirts of Sound. Actual shinobi worked within the city parameters and the rest of the people did average civilian work.

The pay Naruto scrounged up was pathetic too but it was provided a little over the month's rent. Naruto and Sakura had decided to split the surplus every month between food and a single necessity. The current debate was between electricity (Sakura) and buying a television (Naruto).

All in all, Sakura was quite alone in during the day—the only highlight was looking forward to making dinner, which was either ramen or plain white rice. The house was still empty appliance and furniture wise so she couldn't even pretend to be a home-maker.

But things were slightly looking up.

She had found a lint covered coin in her pocket that was enough to pay postage for a letter.

The only problem was the letter.

_Dear Ino_

_I'm in Sound—well the outskirts technically. It's awful here. Everything is grey; from the sky, water to the people. I live with Naruto and surprisingly he isn't so bad. He snores and farts during his sleep, but he's an excellent roommate otherwise._

_I'm also married to Sasuke._

The last sentence was messy variation of Sakura's normally crisp writing. She actually felt her chest beating erratically as she wrote it. It had nearly been a month since she's been a married woman and she was still a nervous wreck over it.

Then again there was no ring…or no husband to speak of.

"What am I thinking?" Sakura breathed lowly, "I can't send a letter to her."

They were in hiding after all and Konoha knowing of their whereabouts would effectively destroy everything. They'd be currently holding the title of missing in action.

Sasuke was currently missing in action.

Sakura hadn't seen him since she healed him. She spent the first week worried and sick to her stomach, fearing that he died or Orochimaru had caught on. But now she was just angry.

She also missed him a little.

Sakura erased the writing on the paper, rumpling the sheet and creasing it. She smoothed it out, laid it neatly on her lap and took a deep breath.

_Dear Sasuke,_

She narrowed her eyes at the paper, feeling the dull anger fill her insides at the mere sight of his name.

"You're a bastard."

The sudden words came out harsh from her dry throat. It hardly made her feel better but it was a fact worth stating. Vocally.

Sakura quickly erased the paper again and began to write.

_Sasuke,_

_You broke my conditions. I told you I didn't want to wait. I told you I didn't want to feel useless. Even if you didn't like it you still agreed._

Angry, hot tears started to spurt out from her eyes and inadvertently soak her rumpled sheet of paper. She felt like that silly girl again—the one that was supposed to be dead.

The one Sasuke had left sobbing with a broken heart.

But Sakura was not that girl anymore.

Sakura rumpled the sheet of paper deftly in her hands and quickly got up from the tiled floor. Her body quickly felt the effects of the day's lethargy; her joints were sore and achy.

Running to the washroom, Sakura quickly smoothed out her hair and patted down her clothes. She smiled forcefully into the mirror and willed her cheeks to return to the regular pallor as she dried her face.

In mere seconds, Sakura was out the door and feeling sunlight almost burn her eyes after days being hauled in the apartment.

It was finally time to stop waiting.

* * *

The elderly store owner behind the cash desk scrunched her nose when she took in the sight of Sakura, as though she were emitting an ominous odour.

It was likely that she was.

"Something you need?"

Her voice was like a bark and Sakura visibly recoiled.

"I'm looking for work." Sakura said, her words coming out in a rush.

The woman peered at her over her glasses, teeth bared stating, "You're looking at the wrong place."

There was no other place to look. This was the only grocery store in a 20 mile radius and Sakura needed the money. But mostly she wanted the sense of fulfillment, of doing something…anything for the team. Maybe being outside that nasty rental would make her feel somewhat better.

"There's nowhere else," Sakura replied honestly.

The woman snorted and said, "Noticed that you're a foreigner eh? I maybe old but not blind".

Sakura wanted to correct her and say she hadn't the chance to "out" herself because this was the only place she knew. It was also thankfully unattached to the living quarters of the owners.

"Please. I'm desperate for the work…and I'll work extremely hard. You have a thriving business and I want to be part of it," Sakura pleaded, her eyes instinctively going wide and her hands clasped in front of her.

The woman shook her head, "I haven't the coin to spare. It's tough out here; not enough patrons because were the outskirts of Sound."

"I'm not asking for much," Sakura retorted, "Plus it's less about the money and more about doing something useful. Please."

The woman sighed and murmured, "My decrepit husband will kill me."

Sakura wanted to laugh but thankfully kept her face still, "You can tell him I'm an investment. That you need the help."

The woman showed a shadow of a smile, "There's not enough work to warrant extra help. But..I could use the company. I guess."

Sakura grinned and clasped the woman's frail hand, "Thank you! I don't know what else to say but thank you. What do you need me to do?"

The woman shrugged and said, "Nothing really. There's some two day old stock out in the back."

Sakura immediately bounded down the aisle before the woman could finish her instructions.

* * *

Sakura ensured she got home before Naruto so she wouldn't give him a heart attack, thinking she was missing or even bailed. It was already dark out but Naruto wouldn't likely be home for a few more hours. He warned her earlier than he'd take on as many missions a day he could because chances were that the opportunity wouldn't be there tomorrow. Moreover, the missions offered to Naruto hardly qualified a few hours time, giving Naruto the ability to take on quite a few a day.

She admired Naruto's work ethic. Or perhaps his determination to lull the painful sense of boredom. Either way, Sakura was in one of her better moods with her newfound work and the eventual promise of money so she felt like doing something to celebrate.

Yoshida-san paid her a few spare coins that was enough to buy a decent sized slab of meat. Sakura hadn't the slightest clue how to prepare it but whatever she made she was sure it'd be better than ramen and plain rice.

Sakura started her scavenge hunt for a makeshift frying pan when she noticed familiar white robes in her peripheral vision. She quickly turned around, a cutting board secured in her hand as her mind worked to fend off the intruder.

Sasuke stared back at her with slightly widened eyes.

"When..when did you get in here?" Sakura hissed, her raised arm shaking with the weight of the cutting board.

"A few minutes ago," Sasuke answered back, his voice sounding funny to Sakura ears, "I went to the washroom."

"But..the door was locked," Sakura retorted.

"It was unlocked," Sasuke corrected and quirked an eyebrow, "Why you didn't notice, I can't say."

Sakura's face flushed and she lowered the cutting board, still feeling slightly out of place. Perhaps the sight of Sasuke in the shabby house was the reason. His presence near her had become unnatural with the time apart.

Absence really didn't make the heart go fonder.

"You should say something next time," Sakura grumbled, "Instead of scaring me like that."

Sasuke had no reply, instead he circled around the extremely small quarters, his body making it feel almost claustrophobic to Sakura. She had to shift around him to acquire the necessary utensils to cook the meat.

Sakura stared at the meat in front of her reproachfully, still unsure of how to prepare it but now also decidedly too nervous to try. She didn't mind making a mess of things on her own, but with Sasuke dutifully behind her to watch…

Quickly turning around Sakura mumbled, "What are you doing here anyway."

"You don't sound happy to see me," Sasuke murmured dryly.

"Forgive me for not enjoying your unexpected company," Sakura bit back.

"It'll always be unexpected. It's hard for me to get away from Orochimaru's constant eye," Sasuke explained, "He also doesn't trust me. I have to be cautious."

Sakura bit the inside of her cheek, annoyed at his logical reasoning. She didn't even want to understand why he was gone for so long…she just didn't want him to be. But at the moment she'd be happy if he went away because she was scared of the meat going bad because it was definite she wasn't cooking anything till he was gone.

"You're feeling better?" Sakura asked impassively. Her medic eyes quickly surveyed his body, the impenetrable robes hiding whatever wounds he had.

She didn't see the ghost of the smile on his lips as he said, "Your abilities are impeccable as ever."

"I know," Sakura said this without sounding condescending, "But it's still good to ask."

She felt his elbow on her arm as he leaned down to scrutnise the cutting board in front of her. The sheer feel of him got her chest palpitating in that familiar way and her initial nervousness was now coupled with a strange mix of tension and want.

"Meat?"

Sakura licked her lips and replied, "Yes. To celebrate."

"Celebrate what?" Sasuke asked, though his voice contained not a hint of curiosity.

"Naruto's success at missions…and my new job. As a store clerk."

"A store clerk," Sasuke echoed.

Sakura nodded, though she hadn't the nerve to turn around and see his expression. Sasuke was quite pressed about how they needed to be low key. But honestly, Sakura knew that she had no qualms arguing that particular fact. She'd rather risk being seen by Orochimaru or his minions than be cooped up in a smelly house all day with no company.

"That wasn't part of our agreement." Sakura noticed how he said this lightly and she takes it as a hope.

"I know but…it doesn't necessairly defy it," Sakura answered back, feeling braver and turning around to finally see what he was thinking. Their proximity magnified when she faced him, his dark eyes staring down at her. She also had a good look at how swallow his cheeks were…and that he'd gotten impossibly paler.

Sasuke tilted his head and said, "You're right."

Pathetically, inevitably she felt butterflies in her stomach. She instinctively looked down at her feet, her ears throbbing.

"I appreciate the compromise," Sakura said, her voice a near whisper.

"That was one of your terms, remember?"

Of course Sakrua remembered. She revisited that day in her mind constantly, wondering if she made the biggest mistake of her life or the most selfless sacrifice. And Sasuke's indirect mention of their marriage resonated with her greatly.

"I remember," Sakura replied airily.

But Sasuke wasn't as daft as Sakura thought and he clearly felt the unheard bitterness within her.

"I know you're disappointed," Sasuke stated, suddenly moving away from her, as though belatedly realizing that he was practically leaning on her the entire time.

Sakura looked at him, expression questioning.

"About our marriage," Sasuke clarified flatly, "You're disappointed."

Sakura shrugged and said, "Disappointed but not surprised."

"It's only temporary."

Sakura almost laughed and replied, "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

Sasuke folded his arms, his face turned away but one eye was regarding her stonily. He was so arrogant, she thought. And deluded. So what if it was temporary? She still had to be cooped up in a stinky, lonely rental with nothing to do. Temporarily.

She still wasn't doing anything noteworthy.

Sakura breathed lowly, realizing she had to calm down. Didn't she have something of a job now? She was going to celebrate today. With Naruto. They were going to eat badly cooked meat together. Sasuke's impromptu visit simply overshadowed that.

"How long do you have?" Sakura asked, attempting to sound like the pleasant wife she was supposed to be.

Sasuke looked out the window and murmured, "Not long. I just wanted to see if you two were still alive."

Sakura snorted and said, "Boredom thankfully won't kill me. As for Naruto, helping clean attics and finding stolen heirlooms won't put him in any danger."

Sasuke sighed. "I don't know what I'm supposed to say."

Sakura smiled thinly, answering, "I don't expect you to. Like I said, disappointed but not surprised."

She barely finished her sentence when Sasuke spontaneously began rummaging through his robes, his hand emerging as a fist. He stared at Sakura for a moment, seemingly transfixed. Sakura felt her throat dry when their eyes met. It was a rare, unguarded moment for Sasuke.

He forcibly grabbed her hand and dropped something onto her upturned palm. The contact of it was cold. She shivered when she saw what it was.

"A ring," Sakura breathed.

"The ring's only temporary too."

Sakura wanted to laugh but she was overwhelmed with too many emotions. The ring was small, thin and simple. Sakura could also tell it was new. She hadn't the heart to try it on yet.

"When did you get it?"

"From that village we married in. I bought it before I woke you." Sasuke's voice was steady, but she could tell he was slightly uncomfortable talking about it with her. But she had to know the details. She had to know everything.

Sakura wanted to say he didn't have to. But he did. She had no other assurance that the marriage even took place. Sometimes, when she was alone sitting curled up against a wall, she wondered if she dreamed it. It hadn't seemed real then and there was no proof it even took place.

This small ring embodied so much.

"I know it's not much," Sasuke suddenly said, invading her thoughts.

She looked up at him, glassy eyes now shaking and was truly at a loss for words. He wasn't even looking at her, his head turned away but just that moment she felt it. Another assurance, but this one was deep in her chest, reverberating.

"Why didn't you give it to me then?" Sakura asked, the ring still listless in her palm.

Sasuke smirked and replied, 'You didn't look too happy then. And the next time I saw you, I was bleeding and barely conscious so that was hardly an appropriate time."

Sakura laughed openly then and smiled, quickly wiping her eyes with her free hand. "Thank you."

"When we go back to Konoha..I'll get you a better one."

He hardly sounded like normal Sasuke when he said that. His voice was almost eager, and Sakura staring at this ring, hardly had to heart to say no.

But she had to. This ring was perfect.

"I like this one," Sakura said, suddenly feeling shy, "It's perfect."

Sasuke looked taken aback and perhaps it was a trick of the eyes, but his usual pallor was coloured.

"Okay."

Sakura had an urge to touch him. To feel him. Perhaps it was the sudden rush of gratitude she felt, but she quelled it immediately. This ring was a token of Sasuke's too-little emotion. She didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

She was also surprised at herself. She hadn't felt a need to touch him since her genin days.

Since she was in love with him.

"I should go," Sasuke murmured.

Sakura nodded frantically and opened the door for him. As he walked near her, trying to go through the door, the earlier need nearly deafened her. In a blind moment of stupidity, she grabbed at his hand. Her grip was frail but her fingers were tightly coiled around his own.

Sakura flushed instantly but kept her stance, relishing the feel of him. Shockingly, his hand was warm.

"Be careful," Sakura said firmly.

She was sure he would slip from her grasp instantly but instead he stared at her, letting her maintain her haphazard grip on his fingers.

And then, finally: "Aa, you too."

Sakura watched him walk until she couldn't see him anymore. Her heart beat loudly the entire time and she felt shaky. Her body tingled with a foreign emotion and the sight of the ring still on her palm almost brought her to tears again.

It was then Sakura put the ring on her finger, the band loose and cold.

Suddenly, she didn't feel so alone.

* * *

**A/N: **

i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter :D it took a long while for me to finish this, but inspiration to write sasusaku is thinning. anyway, i plan to finish this and post the last chapter of glass house. eventually lol.

thank you!


	8. chapter seven

**Something of a Convenience**

**chapter seven  
**

Sakura's forearms were leaning on the till's counter, eyes seemingly transfixed with something outside the window. It had already been a week since she started working at Yoshida-san's store. She wasn't sure if it was a grocery store or a convenience store—it was a haphazard mess of both and Sakura really had nothing to complain about. She already got to know most of the patrons—the outskirts of Sound weren't particularly populated and she made sure to network, broaching conversations with her customers and trying to get as much information as she possibly could.

She had an agenda though.

Sasuke wasn't particularly helpful when it came to talking, especially about Orochimaru and his defection years earlier. It would be easier to get information from the source but Sasuke clearly gave her a condensed version whenever she bothered to ask.

Admittedly, Sakura had a sudden yearning to know more about it.

More about Sasuke.

It wasn't an alien desire, just old. She was accustomed to knowing as little as possible so Sasuke was easier to digest, as though he were a concept.

Her thirst for knowledge wasn't purely selfish—Sakura had every intention of meeting Orochimaru at some point, whether Sasuke liked or not. He was the reason for a lot of the grief she went through.

Sakura absentmindedly twirled the band around her finger—the touch was utterly subconscious by now, it was routine for her fingernail to rub against the curve of her ring.

Her ring.

She instantly felt her face heat up.

"Busy at work?"

Sakura's head shot up, her elbow painfully hitting the edge of the counter. She winced, her eyes instantly welling up as she took in the sight of Yoshida-san. Clearly Sakura was getting to comfortable if she had the nerve to day-dream while at work.

"I'm sorry Yoshida-san!" Sakura instantly said, hands pleading, "It won't happen again."

Yoshida-san smirked and shook her head. She deposited a box on the counter, filled with assorted jars of jam. Sakura was totally useless if the elderly woman was pulling in her own stock.

"I'm sorry," Sakura whimpered again.

"You looked deep in thought," Yoshida-sensei quipped, not at all innocently. Sakura obviously had noticed how the woman was staring fixedly at her ring. Sakura reddened once again and lightly twirled the ring once more.

Yoshida-san grinned and murmured, "You're quite young to be married."

Sakura hadn't a clue how to reply to the statement…and without stammering. She nodded pathetically and busied herself with the stock of jam, hoping Yoshida-san would simply drop the subject.

She was, predictably, not compliant.

"You must be quite serious about your relationship to get married so quickly," Yoshida-san asked, eyebrows raised. Yoshida-san wasn't the talkative sort…or the friendly sort either. This was the first conversation Sakura had with her that didn't feel awkward and cold.

She had to tread carefully.

"We are," Sakura hummed, smiling.

Yoshida-san stared at her penetratingly once more and replied, "There's a difference between infatuation and love, remember that. Though it can be hard to distinguish, especially at your age".

Sakura shook her head furiously. "It's definitely not infatuation!"

The peals of laughter were unexpected. Sakura was flabbergasted at what was so funny especially since she was being totally honest.

"That's quite grim!" Yoshida-san barked, "My husband and I are quite elderly and still…it's not at the 'definitely not infatuation' stage yet. Your marriage won't last at all, Sakura!"

Sakura was treading on dangerous waters. She did not want to talk about this with her employer.

The heat off of Sakura's face was clearly extraordinary for Yoshida-san exclaimed, "You're flushed! I'm guessing this is an uncomfortable topic for you?"

Sakura lowly breathed an agreement.

Yoshida-san grinned as she enjoyed Sakura's flustered state.

"Young ones are such prudes nowadays."

* * *

Sakura struggled with the box pressing painfully on her chest, her arms growing numb with the weight. It was difficult to be too upset about it though—Yoshida-san was practically a saint by giving Sakura old stock that was close to expiry date. Old Sakura, cushioned sheltered Sakura might've blanched at the idea of eating nearly expired food but money was tight and Sakura could be willfully ignorant when it came to starvation.

It'd be nice if Sasuke joined them for dinner once. Dinner being a term used loosely.

But Sasuke was bent on keeping with his irregular schedule and them firmly in the dark. Of course, Sakura could see the logic. If he had a pattern of visiting often and routinely, Sound-nin or Orochimaru himself would grow suspicious. Sakura didn't mind a confrontation but she didn't want an attack out of the blue.

It didn't mean she liked the idea of Sasuke always being missing. She was constantly worrying; the butterflies in her stomach the default. She wake up in the morning, drenched in sweat and went to bed at night with the shadows of the same nightmares around the corner.

And then there was Naruto, another worry.

Sakura could literally see him wilt before her. He was always on missions, coming late into the night and bringing in barely any funds. It wasn't the money that upset her though—it was Naruto's state. He barely ate, his skin was always gray and his usual optimism took a dip. He barely scrounged her smile when she rattled off.

Sound had changed him.

Sakura let out an irritable groan when the side of the box poked her painfully in the chest. She lowered the box and took a much needed breather. It was dark out, cold and her current living arrangement (she refused to refer to it as a home of any sort) was still down the sloping hill, tiled with bricks. She realized weeks earlier that the dusty, browned bricks making the pathway impossibly narrower were an attempt to beautify. It was a pathetic attempt to say the least.

She bit her lip, inwardly ashamed.

People still lived in the outskirts of Sound. Decent people—people with children and families. Just because she hated it here didn't mean she had to begrudge resident's attempts in trying to make the place feel less like a bricked cell.

Sighing, Sakura bent down to retrieve the box and she saw colour flash by in her peripheral vision. Not just any colours—but black and red. A red, bloody cloud. Her heart drummed painfully, and she warned herself not to be silly. Not to overreact.

She instinctively sent a rush of warm chakra from her chest, down her arms finally nestling round her tightening fists. She eyed the box sadly and let out a deep breath. If something happened, she'd rather the box not be collateral damage.

Skipping over the lined bricks, her feet nestled in the wet grass. She surveyed her surroundings and all she saw was billowing trees, withering bushes and empty field. She looked up at the dying leaves up the few spatter of trees, knowing somebody hiding up there made a shoddy nin. There was no place to hide, at least not here. Had to be her imagination…_it_ was her imagination. She was yearning to do something and now she was creating fantasies of duking it out with Akatsuki. She let out a low, bitter laugh.

Sound hadn't just changed Naruto.

She looked back once more and that's when she saw it. An envelope—_it was_ an envelope. She barreled toward the decaying bush it was hidden under, her bare knees and palms meeting soil. It was still pristine white, not marred by the abundant dirt around the bush. Somebody had been here—

Her thoughts stopped mid-way, the words on top of the white envelope hypnotizing her. It was written in neat, black ink:

_Burn this letter if you intend to NOT read it. Once you read it, you are instructed to fulfill the required obligations outlined within the letter. You do not have a choice once you've read the letter's contents._

The envelope shook feebly in her hands. This was a trap. She looked back at the eerily neat writing and saw the name signed under.

"Kisame," Sakura breathed lowly, "Itachi's…"

Sakura walked to the narrow path and stuffed the letter underneath the assorted cans and packages of food. She furtively gave a quick looked behind her and jogged down the path, hardly minding the repetitive poking of the cardboard on her chest.

There were bigger things on her mind.

* * *

Sakura balanced the box on her hip and deftly worked the crappy lock on the door (that wasn't her home). She really wasn't looking forward to being in there alone, a mysterious letter being her only company. Naruto wouldn't be home for a couple hours at least and Sasuke…well she'd learn early on not to expect much of anything from him.

The door eased open and Sakura all but slammed the door behind her.

"Sakura-chan?"

The box slammed ceremoniously onto the floor and Sakura turned sharply to see Naruto stare back at her, mouth agog. Sasuke was also seated beside him on the ground, his hands occupied with a warm steaming mug.

"Damn it!" She inhaled and exhaled, trying to calm herself but failing. It was hard to get over the shock when another one was sitting on the ground with…

It smelled like tea. Sakura stopped her breathing exercises; it wasn't helping her grumbling stomach.

"Why are you here so early?" Sakura asked eyes resolutely trained on Naruto. He stared quizzically back at her and Sakura noted the tipped mug at his side and saw the leaves.

It _was_ tea.

"I'm right on time," Naruto retorted, "You're the one who's late. Even Sasuke came earlier than you."

Sakura finally realized it was time to finally look him in the eye. Mostly because she could see he was staring at her from her peripheral vision.

"He brought tea!" Naruto's gleeful announcement was supplemented with him raising a bag of tea leaves. Sakura smiled softly and gazed quickly at Sasuke.

He was still staring at her.

It was like she was twelve again. The ring, though a kind gesture, hadn't helped matters. Nor did her employer's earlier discussion with her about the lack of—

"I could really use some tea," Sakura stammered, practically snatching the bag from Naruto's hands and making her way to the cursed box of food. She put the bag atop the box and hefted once more. She heard Naruto's exclamations to help her and she shushed him, _she was fine_, _it was just a measly box and_—

Sasuke grabbed it from her arms as though it were weightless and made it to the dingy kitchen, where she could clearly hear water drip, drip, drip in the foul sink. That wasn't going to help their water bill.

She made her way into the kitchen, her feet practically dragging on the tiled floor. Thankfully, the box was untouched and Sasuke was leaning on the counter, still wearing his Sound garb. Her eyes roamed his body for any signs of wounds or other nasty business but he was the picture of health. Picture, mostly. She didn't know what he was hiding and frankly his current mood was more than baffling. It wasn't just his unexpected visit but the fact that he was leaning on her counter, still staring at her.

It was more unnerving than flattering.

She coughed blithely and made her way to the box, her hands rummaging. Maybe if she appeared busy he'd get a hint, leaving her and the danged letter alone.

Though staying silent probably did nothing but ruse his suspicions.

"Thanks. For the tea," Sakura said. She turned to give him a half-hearted smile but his eyes were boring into hers, dark and listless.

"You're off tonight," He simply replied.

Sakura laughed awkwardly. "I'm fine. Just tired—Yoshida-san really works us hard."

"I thought you were her only employee."

"I am!" Sakura quickly amended, "I'm really exhausted, I can't even think straight."

Apparently, Sasuke had a knack in remembering pointless details.

"Evidently," Sasuke said, raising his eyebrows.

Sakura gave a short chuckle and continued to organise her stock. This wasn't her plan for tonight—in fact, the box was to be dealt with tomorrow. She really just wanted to make some tea and stare at the letter. Of course, these were steps in making her "choice".

She heaved a great big sigh.

"Are you really that tired?"

"Hmm?" Sakura murmured absent-mindedly, reading the back of a can of tomato and seeing it was _past _its expiry date.

"Are you really that tired?" Sasuke repeated.

Sakura looked up and noted that his jaw was clenching. And he wasn't staring at her.

Odd.

"A bit," Sakura replied, shrugging.

He nodded, his fingers tapping on the ceramic counter rather arhythmically. If Sakura didn't know better, she'd think Sasuke were nervous. He was awfully fidgety.

"Is there something you need to tell me?" Sakura asked.

"No."

Sakura frowned. "You didn't come here to just bring tea."

"It's fine," He said abruptly.

Sakura studied him shrewdly, realizing that he was putting up his defenses again. Shielding himself. An opportunity where Sasuke wanted to voluntarily talk to her were slim and far between. As much as the dreaded letter was taking over her mind, she needn't forget that much.

"We can talk," Sakura said, smiling. She made her way to the entrance of the kitchen but Sasuke was still where he was, leaning on the counter. His arms were folded and he really looked like a petulant child. Sakura groaned softly and pulled his hand. She tried to make the gesture seem flippant but the consequences were a burning within her. She could hear the drum, drum of her chest; it was deafening.

Sasuke hadn't been exactly forthcoming but she realized he'd probably want to talk somewhere where Naruto wasn't in audience. Nothing made Sasuke clam up faster than Naruto's presence. She briskly walked into her room and she felt Sasuke's grip on her tighten. She faltered and turned to look back at him, he looked disturbingly wooden.

"Come _on_." There really weren't any girly embarrassing things in the room—well, there really wasn't _much_ to warrant it being called a room, more like a decent closet. There was a bed, barely twin-sized and her gigantic bag currently stuffed with her dirty laundry. Her other possessions were piled neatly at the foot of her bed. There was also a lamp that decided when it wanted to work.

She sat on the edge of the bed, covertly straightening the sheets. Perhaps she had to rethink the embarrassing bit—Sasuke was still standing by the door practically scrutnising her living arrangements (not her room).

"I wasn't really expecting guests," Sakura said, defensively.

Sadly, not everybody had cozy rooms in Orochimaru's lair.

"It's fine," He said, evenly.

He looked so awkward, uncomfortable. She knew better than invite him to sit on her bed because that'd further the painful tension. For her sake as well. She could practically hear Yoshida-san's mocking voice echo in her ear.

"So," Sakura began, her hands folded on her lap, "You wanted to talk?"

Sasuke's eyes shifted over her face. He licked his lips.

"Yes," He said, somewhat gravely.

Her eyebrows furrowed. Sasuke wasn't remotely a hesitant person. In any situation, he was still arrogant and cocky as ever, voice smooth and snide. Nothing ever rustled Sasuke's feathers, nothing…nothing except—

Sakura's eyes widened.

Their engagement. Well, the _purpose_ of their engagement.

"Oh." Sakura felt as though her voice practically echoed within the room. Loud. Too Loud.

Sasuke barely nodded.

"Well—I," Sakura struggled to say something. Anything. He was just standing there, staring. And the room felt entirely too small now, closet was definitely a generous descriptor.

"We don't have to," Sasuke interjected. He stared at her pointedly now, his body regaining its usual composure.

"But that's the point, isn't it?" Sakura retorted, her voice barely a whisper, "You held your end of the deal and now it's my—"

She could barely finish her sentence. She was shaking too much.

"It doesn't have to happen now. Tonight." His voice was flat, emotionless. Perhaps, before, in the kitchen—there had been expectation there, a floating promise of something. But not anymore. Just a look at the way she was practically shriveling gave him a reality check.

He'd been patient with her though. So patient that she'd completely forgotten why she was married to him. She thumbed the ring and this time it was entirely conscious.

"I'm fine," Sakura said, resolutely. She got up off the bed and walked toward him, her movements jagged and heavy. She lifted her hand, aiming for his cheek and she heard his back slam against the wall.

"You don't have to," Sasuke said shortly, "I said I'd be honourable."

"I know. And you have been honourable," Sakura murmured softly, her mouth feeling dry. Her finger lightly grazed his jaw and she felt him shudder. Her breath quickened instinctively, her hands making their way to his bare chest. Palms flat. His skin was cold or hers was extremely warm. The latter more likely, considering how flushed she was.

She never liked the idea of this. She'd resigned herself to it. But she wasn't lying. He had been honourable. He'd been more than that…he'd become a dream again. She was back to her old ways, toying with the idea of them and normalcy.

She felt the ghost of his hands on her waist, inching higher. His hand lightly palmed her breast and it was then she audibly gasped, flinching. Briefly, she met his eyes and saw them harden.

"We'll wait," he ground out, with finality. He untangled himself from her, practically pushing her off him. He swiftly adjusted his robe and gave her a fleeting look.

She didn't know what to say. Apologise? For what? For being nervous? But the look in his eyes—her breath hitched in her throat, a hard lump forming.

He made his way out the door and Sakura sat back on the edge of the bed, shivering. She heard him squabble with Naruto and then she heard the other door and—

He was gone. He left.

Choices.

She wasn't given many today.


	9. chapter nine

**Something of a Convenience **

**chapter nine**

* * *

Sakura stared at her reflection in the washroom, fingering her oily bangs and hardly surprised at the dark rims under her eyes. She hadn't been getting muchsleep lately.

Because—

Well, a variety of reasons.

She brushed her teeth, transfixed at the blackened stain on the mirror. It was easy to zone out lately, her mind elsewhere.

"Sakura-chan! I'm heading out!"

Sakura spat out the toothpaste and scrambled out a muffled "Naruto—Wait!" before hitting her head under the towel rack. She winced, cradling her head, and heard Naruto inquisitively repeating her name, playing with the doorknob.

She finally opened the door and slammed into Naruto's chest, garbed with a loose fitting tee. She laid her head there for a moment, trying desperately remember what she wanted to say.

"You alright? Oi, you've got a nasty bump on your head!"

Sakura let out a deep breath and looked Naruto squarely In the face, though his gaze was focused on the now throbbing bump on her head.

"Be careful, alright?" Sakura said, using her firmest tone. Naruto blinked back at her.

"But I'm always careful, Sakura-chan," Naruto replied, laughing lightly.

"Be _extra_ careful. Just. Just stick to your missions and don't wander anywhere else."

Naruto grinned. "Alright, mom."

"I know you're joking but we've just got each other right? I need to know if you're absolutely safe."

"Trust me, my missions involve handiwork and the odd stolen heirloom so nothing too exciting there."

Sakura smiled, "Good. I'm glad you're day is just as eventful as mine."

Naruto nodded, giving her a lop-sided smile, and patted her head briefly, careful to avoid her injury. Sakura gave him a small wave and the door swung behind him, hitting the frame.

She locked the door, hand still resting on the door knob. She laid her forehead on the cool wood and let out a heaving sigh. Naruto had hardly eased her worries—and deep inside, she knew he would be fine. He was Naruto after all, annoyingly resistant to everything. But this was Akatsuki…and if there was anything that could shake her faith in Naruto, it was those bastards.

But there was somebody else who she wanted to warn.

Sadly, said person decided to not grace their presence in her company for the past week and a half so she didn't care if they got kidnapped by Akatsuki and eaten alive.

At least, she didn't care _right this minute._

Sakura pushed herself off the door and shook her head, ignoring the pulsing on her head. There were many things to do today, and first on her list was to burn the letter.

* * *

Sakura watched in satisfaction as the envelope turned to ash, flittering into the grey air. She had the suspicion that the envelope had been sealed somehow, perhaps rife with forbidden ninjutsu but she wasn't exactly sure what would happen when she burnt it.

Thankfully, the letter burned like any old letter would:

Quickly.

Sakura heard crunching underfoot and swiftly turned her head around, meeting the stern expression of Yoshida-san.

"What are you doing out here?" She barked.

Sakura fumbled with a way to explain until she finally blurted, "J-just burning some old things."

Yoshida stared at her for what seemed to be an eternity and until she finally asked, "Why didn't you just throw it out like a normal person?"

Sakura gaped at her and once again she began thinking of something, anything to say—

"Forget it. I don't want to know. Just get back inside—we've got a customer."

Sakura wasn't about to question why Yoshida-san couldn't tend to the customer herself so she hastily dumped water on the dying fire and bolted her way into the shop, steadfast in avoiding Yoshida-san's steely glare.

Entering the glass doors of the shop, Sakura readied herself for the rare customer interactions. They were few and far between, and sadly those interactions tend to consist of regulars.

Old, simply-venturing-out-for-the-weekly-groceries, regulars.

Sakura nearly grinned when she saw the delightfully unfamiliar face of the middle-aged customer.

"Hello!" Sakura trilled, "How can I help you?"

"Just these," He muttered, putting a bottle sake and a couple packages of instant ramen on the table.

" A bit too early for sake, no?" Sakura said awkwardly, letting out a short laugh.

The man's vacant expression was more than enough of a reply.

"I really recommend the half-off strawberry jam," Sakura added, "And some of our sliced bread. Just got a shipping of them yesterday."

Definitely a better breakfast.

"No thanks," The man mumbled, his eyes squarely on his would-be purchases.

Sakura sighed. Clearly he was in no mood for conversation and he barely gave her an in to talk about more important matters—like Sound, Orochimaru…

Sakura ringed through his items and stuffed it into a bag. He gave her exact change and walked out without a word, not even waiting for his receipt.

"Have a nice day." Sakura called cheerily, before lowly muttering, "Jerk."

She knew she was being unfair but she wasn't in the mood for blindly following her moral compass. She was upset. Moody. Worried. Dissapointed.

Unwanted.

That night with Sasuke flashed back in her head, she remembered his hesitant touch and the bravery it must've took to initiate it. In retrospect it didn't seem so bad, so unpleasant. It didn't seem so bad—

But then...

…did she have a right to feel unwanted when she made the rejection first?

She kept swaying between missing him and being upset with him, treading between want and hesitancy. She could admit that much.

She felt her cheeks heat up as she imagined, relived and recreated.

It didn't seem so bad…the idea of them.

But it was easy to say that now while she was far away, her mind blurring and murking.

And Sasuke…

Well.

Interactions with Sasuke were always sobering.

* * *

Sakura juggled with the keys in her hand, the darkness blinding her. She was tired. It was a long, purposeless day. Week. Month.

The more she thought about their mission, the less happy she felt.

She also knew that Naruto felt the same thing, if not moreso.

Naruto wasn't used to waiting. Wasn't used to being useless.

And it took a toll.

She saw it in his face, how he was lost in his thoughts. Was it worth it? Was Sasuke really worth it?

It was her fault. Naruto could never say no to her and she could never say no to Sasuke.

They were a dysfunctional team. But a team nonetheless.

Nobody could take that from them.

Sakura opened the door and felt a bit disheartened with the lights out, the house completely empty.

No surprise visits lately. She could admit she missed it.

Admit that she missed him.

Sakura let out a yawn, flickering the lights on and trudging her way to the kitchen. She stared vacantly at the fridge, unsatisfied with eggs and jam staring back at her. She wanted meat. Wanted bread.

She wanted home.

She wished she had somebody to talk too, really talk to. She missed gossiping with Ino, their long chatter that went in circles were fun. Ultimately meaningless, but fun. Sometimes they'd have meaningful conversations—actual heart-to-hearts that could result in tears and epiphanies.

She didn't have that anymore and she was in need of a good long cry.

Sighing, Sakura made her way to her room and slipped out of her clothes, catching her reflection in the dirty window. She looked a mess, her bump now evolved into a smarting red. Her hair was frayed, unkempt. Her skin looked blotchy. The lines on her forehead were deeper.

It wasn't like she was obsessed with her appearance. She obviously cared. A bit. It was hard not to, especially being blighted with crippling low self-esteem. But now she just felt disappointed at herself.

Sasuke always brought the worst in her.

She unsuccessfully wiped her nose, tearing her gaze away. She was going to sleep. Hopefully a dreamless sleep that would rejuvenate her. Maybe even remind her why she was here, why she even cared.

She tucked herself under the covers, eyes fixed on the beige, peeling ceiling. Her vision began to blur, but eyes still wide open.

She was painfully pulled from a coma-like state at the frantic knocks on the door, loud and deafening. She ran to the door, barreling through the narrow corridor and thinking of the worst scenarios involving Naruto and Sasuke and the Akataski and—

She slammed the door open and Sasuke's bended body, steadying himself with a lone arm on the doorframe greeted her. He was coughing, blood splattered on the ground. She pulled him inside and he collapsed against her, his weight pushing them down to the cold floor.

Sasuke positioned himself against the door, head lolling as Sakura frantically surveyed him. It didn't make sense. It didn't make any sense. He was injured, disoriented but no signs of wounds or bruises were on his body. The only sign was his sporadic coughing of blood, smears harsh against the white floor.

"Sasuke. Sasuke," Sakura said, trying desperately to remain calm. She needed him awake. She needed to heal him. Sasuke grimaced, leaning his head on her shoulder.

"I need you to breathe deeply Sasuke. You need to stay awake."

Sakura hadn't a clue what was wrong with him but she deduced internal bleeding was part of the problem. She ripped open his shirt and placed her hands on his abdomen, his hot temperature making her shiver.

They were like that for minutes, several minutes. Sakura desperately trying to heal him, realizing that many of his organs had suffered blunt trauma. His temperature eventually began to cool and his breathing turned regular. His head was still at the crook of her neck, lips dry near her pulse.

"How are you feeling?" Sakura asked, voice barely above a whisper. She was still reeling. Still in shock.

"Alive," Sasuke breathed, voice hoarse.

She almost wanted to laugh. He wouldn't have been alive if she wasn't here. He would've been dead.

She'd been holding it in the entire time, her shock and horror that is. She wanted to know what happened. She wanted to know who did it.

"What happened?"

The tension was palpable, their breathing nearly deafening.

"Sasuke," Sakura began, voice shaking, "I deserve to know. I need to know. Was it Orochimaru?"

"No." His lips nearly tickled her skin.

"Then who was it? Who would do this?" Sakura demanded, shaking.

"Don't worry about it. What's done is done."

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all.

"How could you say that?" Sakura said, teeth clenched, "You keep doing this and I don't understand why. We're a team. Naruto and I…we're trying to help you but you keep us in the dark and leave us at weeks at a time and then come back near death!"

"Sakura—"

"I'm sick of it. I held up my end of the bargain and you've broken every single condition I've had—conditions that are meant to secure your safety! What's the point? Why are we here? Why am _I_ here? I'm sick of it!"

Sasuke finally raised his head, grabbing hold of her chin inevitably stopping her mid-rant. His eyes were half-lidded and Sakura momentarily fretted that he was falling into unconsciousness once more but.

But.

Sakura's mind drew a blank as Sasuke gently pushed his lips against her, prickly against her own. Her eyes widened twice their size, unable to mentally or physically respond to what had just occurred.

Sasuke pulled away from her, head turned to the side.

"I know I said I'd wait but—"

"It's okay," Sakura interrupted, tasting metallic on her lips, "It's okay."

Sasuke appraised her with one eye, finger wiping off the blood from her lips. His hand fell to the cup her chin and he leaned in once more, lips grounding on her harder this time. Faster.

It was dizzying it. All of it. Everything. One moment she was yelling at him and the next her hands in his hair, drowning and pulling. And she said okay. _She said okay_. She felt her head push into the cold ground, Sasuke's hands either side of her head, his hair tickling her forehead, body pressed against her.

She should be processing this. She didn't want to process it. The more she thought about it, the less sure she felt. She was tired of thinking, tired of wallowing.

"Are you sure?" Sasuke asked, breath fanning her ear.

Sakura nodded once. She wasn't going to be any surer than this, unfortunately for Sasuke.

Sasuke's eye bored into hers for awhile and Sakura felt her confidence thinning. He was, after all, doubled over in pain moments ago.

"Are _you_ sure?" Sakura replied, raising her hand to press it against his forehead. His temperature had finally stabilized and his usual pallor had returned.

"I was always sure, you were the one with the hesitancy," Sasuke said mildly.

Sakura's cheeks flared up. "I meant considering your condition. You were spraying blood everywhere moments ago. I'd still appreciate an explanation."

"And I'd appreciate some trust," Sasuke snapped, "When I say don't worry about it, I mean it. I'm not breaking your conditions. I'm saving you some unnecessary grief."

He didn't get it. He really didn't get it.

"But you're not saving me any grief! You're making it worse."

Sasuke stared at her momentarily before leaning down to kiss her once more. Now that she was somewhat used to it, it was hard not to get a bit lost in the feeling of it, of them, together.

"Now you're just trying to shut me up," Sakura murmured lightly as Sasuke pulled her up.

They were barely millimeters apart, nose grazing his, legs halfway on his lap. She couldn't recall a more intimate moment in her life, her heart was beating rapidly in her throat and her mind was abuzz, acutely aware of everything, everything about him. His askew collar, how his lips were now moistened, his curled fingers on her hip and—

"Why do you overthink everything?"

Sakura nearly blanched, as though he'd invaded her thoughts.

"What makes you say that?" Sakura replied, slightly perturbed.

Because it wasn't true. Yes, she always over thought, overanalyzed, weighed, and debated left, right and in circles. But not now. Not in this moment. If she was actually over thinking, she'd realise that Sasuke didn't care about her, that she was a means to an end, that he didn't tell her anything, anything at all. He didn't look at her like an equal, like a comrade…like a team member.

She'd also realise that their so-called mission was the definition of failure. Because when she really looked at it, Sasuke was becoming darker, secretive and more embroiled with Orochimaru and Sound.

And Naruto.

Perhaps the person she was failing the most.

And as Sakura attempted to open her mouth, she realized that Sasuke's image was blurring and she could no longer feel his touch on her hips and then she was being pulled, painfully.

Sakura's eyes flew open and were met with the striking colour of somebody's pale skin against her flat hands.

Not somebody.

Sasuke's.

She lifted her cheek off of Sasuke's abdomen and her face felt sore, sticky. She fell asleep on him while healing him. Well, attempting too. Sasuke looked like he was out cold.

Clearly she'd run out of chakra. She blamed her ego and the stupid idea of trying to heal almost every organ inside of him at one-go.

She wondered how long she was out. Her dream seemed long.

And detailed.

She rubbed her face, trying to forget. It seemed too real. At the same time, completely implausible. Sasuke's romantic gestures in particular.

Her eyes, like magnets, found their way to Sasuke's now awake face. She knew her horror was being shown perfectly by her flaming cheeks. But she couldn't turn away—some depraved part of her searched his face to see signs of her maybe-not-a-dream.

"Feel better?" She said, failing pathetically at an attempt of nonchalance.

Sasuke sat up, looking completely disoriented.

"I'm guessing that's a no," Sakura murmured quietly, stretching her arms with a yawn.

"Thanks."

Sakura was completely taken aback by Sasuke's rare show of gratitude but she tried very hard to hide it.

Presenting him with a fixed smile, Sakura replied, "Just an attempt at doing my job."

Sasuke sighed, laying his head on his arm that was currently resting on his bended knee. Why did he always act like he was exhausted by her? She couldn't even—sarcastically—show her derision at how he was treating her.

"I do appreciate your role…or job," Sasuke began, giving her a firm stare, "but I can't tell you everything. Things aren't going how I…_we_ imagined. I shouldn't be blamed for that."

"I just wish healing you every time you're here wasn't part of the job description," Sakura retorted, shrugging.

"Me too," Sasuke replied, somewhat sullenly.

"I'd even appreciate an explanation. Not just me, but Naruto," Sakura added quickly, "Just an affirmation, you know? That we're closer to our goal…that something was even happening."

"Me too," Sasuke repeated, this time with a halting chuckle.

Sakura didn't share his amusement.

She turned to the window and noticed that was dawn was breaking. How long we're they out here? It seemed with how monotonous the mission was they also lost sight of time.

Guess he was heading back.

Sasuke stood up, painfully and involuntarily dread filled Sakura's insides. He needed time to heal, especially since the brunt of his damage was internal.

"Do you have to go?" Sakura said.

Sasuke stared back at her and murmured, "Not tonight."

Seared under her eyelids were images of her dreams and the imagined feeling of his lips and hands. The better part of her knew that wasn't what he was insinuating, but seeing as her mind was permanently in the gutter lately…

Sakura nodded, nearly fighting a smile.

"You can sleep on my bed then," Sakura announced, gesturing him to follow. She was perfectly happy making a makeshift bed out of knapsacks and clothes.

"It's fine," Sasuke retorted, "I can a share a bed with Naruto."

Sakura raised an eyebrow, appraising him. "You sure?"

Sasuke simply turned the hallway to Naruto's room and opened the door, taking in the picture of Naruto sprawled widely on his bed, legs on either side of the mattress. Sporadically, his arms would gesture widely and it was clear there was no way Sakura would let him get internally damaged again.

"Just sleep on my bed," Sakura insisted, "I actually prefer the ground."

Sasuke snorted. "You're a terrible liar."

Unbeknownst to Sasuke, an idea was flittering in Sakura's mind. Why didn't they just share the bed? It was big enough that both their comfort wouldn't be forsaken.

But more importantly, they were married.

And if Sakura couldn't even sleep on the same bed with him then there was no way Sasuke's goals would be achieved.

Logically, it was the perfect solution and the stepping stone to further their pathetic relationship.

They were now in her room, Sasuke surveying the bed, her strewn clothes, and how her knapsack was barely big enough to be a decent pillow. At least, that was the stuff Sakura was surveying. Sasuke just looked like his pensive self.

Sakura sighed. "Honestly, I can deal with sleeping on the ground for a few measly hours. You have internal damage for goodness sake and need some sleep. Just swallow your pride."

"It's not about pride," Sasuke replied.

"Then what do we do?" Sakura said, "Arguing about it isn't doing anything."

"Clearly the other option is obvious," Sasuke said.

Other option being what? It wasn't guaranteed that the option she was thinking of was the same as his and—

Forget it. She remembered Dream Sasuke's words of her over-thinking everything and felt the stupid need to prove him and herself wrong.

"We could share the bed," Sakura said, her voice seeming impossibly loud.

Sasuke finally turned to look at her, and she could tell his face was unusually blank.

"We could." Sasuke trailed off.

"I mean if you want," Sakura said, backtracking, "to me, it just seems the obvious option. Especially since we're married, right?"

"Especially since we're married," Sasuke repeated.

"Right," Sakura said, under her breath.

The tension in the room was palpable. For the bravado they were both putting, neither of them showed an inch of going near the bed.

Using the same alien source of confidence, Sakura walked past Sasuke and got herself into the bed, positioning herself against the wall. She was definitely a more courteous bed partner than Naruto.

Sasuke eventually made his way to the bed, sitting himself on the edge making his back toward Sakura's face. He pulled off his boots in a meticulous manner, lining them up neatly on the wall. His robe soon followed his bare back slightly red from all that laying on the ground.

Sasuke finally laid himself on the bed, still facing away from her. They were slightly touching, but it was nothing as searing as she imagined.

Sakura could deal with this. She _was_ dealing with this.

Especially since he thankfully kept his pants on.

* * *

A/N: Been awhile, I know! Sadly, Naruto is getting harder to write for. I hope you guys appreciate the extra long chapter and as always I appreciate the reviews :3

Thanks.


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